No idea what they're talking about

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Whether it’s knowledge of the past or predictions about the future, none of these pundits has any idea what they’re talking about.

Don’t know much about history

CNBC noticed that Apple bought some companies and tasked Althea Chang to try to make sense of it all. Or, barring that, to get some talking head to say some stuff and then slap it into an article.

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3

Obsolete arguments

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Hey, remember when the New York Times accused Apple of deliberately obsoleting iPhones? Let’s do that again.

“Hold the Phone: A Big-Data Conundrum” (tip o’ the antlers to Ellyn MacNamara).

Writing for the Times, Harvard economics professor Sendhil Mullainathan notes that Laura Trucco, a Ph.D. student in economics at Harvard, checked Google results for “iPhone slow” searches and found they correlated with launches of new phones. This is apparently a thing you can do to get credit toward a Harvard Ph.D.

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16

Not-so-smartphone

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Writing for The Telegraph, Matthew Sparkes tells us of the phone that’s so cheap, you can’t afford to not buy it! Unless you want a phone that’s not a complete piece of crap. That would be the one drawback to this phone. Being a complete piece of crap.

“Should the £26 Indian smartphone worry Apple?” (tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody).

Oh, here, let the Macalope help you with that:

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23

Things might get ontological

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Do people know that words have meanings? It’s starting to seem like they don’t. First a pundit has trouble realizing “people” are the “people” he works with. Then we look at what you can say if you provide the qualifier that it “could” be true (practically anything). Finally, has anyone seen this thing we made up?

Zzzzzzzzzz

The Macalope is coming to the conclusion that Business Insider’s Jay Yarow is possibly just tired of his job.

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18

No way to win

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Rumors have Apple announcing a larger iPhone this fall, which naturally means doom for Apple.

Wait, what?

“A supersize iPhone is a big risk for Apple” (tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody).

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13

On repeat

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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When evidence crops up that runs counter to your assertions, what do you do? Reevaluate your position and think maybe, just maybe, you were coming at it out of emotion rather than based on the evidence?

Haha. You are so adorably naïve.

No! Of course the thing to do is to double down!

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7

A steady decline

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Apple forged a big alliance with IBM this week, and you know what that means: total fail. Meanwhile, iPhone users are mindless slaves to an inferior platform (no surprise there) and the iPhone 6 is doomed if it doesn’t have a bigger screen.

So, pretty much business as usual.

Big deal

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