Maximum hyperbole

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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We already know how boring the iPhone 6 is (so very, very boring). But were you aware that it’s also ugly? As in yoo, gee, ell, why, it ain’t got no ali-bi?

Zach “Windows 8 rules” Epstein of the Boy Genius Report brings us the hideous truth.

“Will the iPhone 6 really be as hideously ugly as we’ve seen in leaks?”

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8

Yawn

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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The Street’s Jason Notte is bored, you guys. So bored.

“For Apple Consumers, the iPhone Thrill Is Gone” (tip o’ the antlers to ghibby!).

The Apple iPhone 6 gets its big announcement next month. Great.

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16

No leg to stand on

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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This week we’ll look at pundits making claims that aren’t really backed up. Remember when Windows 8 was going to change everything? Meanwhile, a small sliver of the market clearly shows how Apple’s getting left out in the cold. Again. Finally, if it’s August then it must be time for problems with the fall iPhones.

Windows 8 Bookends

Let us begin with a pair of bookends to Windows 8, both brought to us courtesy of the Boy Genius Report.

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17

How low can you go?

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Writing for ZDNet, Ken Hess reports in from the home office in Crazytown, USA.

“Where’s Apple’s ‘Chromebook’? The need for a cheap Apple product” (tip o’ the antlers to Chris Breen).

If you own any Apple devices, it’s likely that you didn’t buy them at a significant discount or at a cost savings. It’s obvious from Apple’s earliest days that its founders didn’t care much for the low cost market, but I think that’s about to change and the humble Chromebook is the breaking point product.

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25

Same old refrain

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Business Insider is a publication at war with itself. While BI’s Jay Yarow has finally admitted the obvious, that Apple kinda knows what it’s doing and smartphone market share is not the be-all end-all of measurements, Jim Edwards seems to be happily sailing along in a logical bubble, impervious to outside thought.

“Ugly Data For Apple Shows How Desperately It Needs iPhone 6 To Be A Hit” (no link but tip o’ the antlers to Rob Wensing).

Apple may be the most successful, envied tech company on the planet. But its dominance is far from obvious according to new data from IDC, which tracks worldwide smartphone shipments.

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7

It is to laugh

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: You asked for it, we made it: For a limited time you can get an “I’m the Macalope” mug! Because who is the Macalope? We all are.

Get set for hilarious hijinks as pundits line up to tell us how the next iPhone can’t help Apple, what the next iPads must have, and how awesome Windows Phone is doing, whoops, it’s not at all.

Fun with false equivalencies

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21

Blame Apple

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Turns out there’s an easy way to handle your company’s poor earnings report: Just blame Apple!

“JB Hi-Fi clobbered by a falling iPad” (no link but tip o’ the antlers to Gwilym Lucas).

Who is responsible for the 7 per cent fall in JB Hi-Fi’s share price? The real culprit is Apple.

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