Regifting: If at first your analysis doesn't succeed, try, try again

You know that definition of “insanity” that says it’s “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”? Well, get ready for another Apple appointment with disappointment.

CNBC says “Apple products won’t have as happy a holiday: Survey” (tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

Uh, well, that’s certainly fine except for the fact that PRODUCTS ARE INANIMATE OBJECTS THAT DO NOT EXPERIENCE HAPPINESS ON ANY LEVEL. Boom. Just destroyed your argument.

Read more »

19

Overboard: Taking iTunes criticism too far

There’s a lot of room for criticism of iTunes, God knows, but when driving the car of criticism, be careful not to swerve out of control on the Information Highway, crash through the guardrails of sanity, and explode spectacularly in mid-air before falling into the Ravine of Baloney.

Like this guy.

Yes, Business Insider’s Jim Edwards is too legit to quit the anti-Apple screed-of-the-week biz. Wonder if he’d take a buyout? (Note to self: Fund via Kickstarter.)

Read more »

24

Silver finish: The Apple Watch places second before it's even out

Is everyone excited about getting smartwatches this holiday season? No? Well, that’s news to Tiger Beat in the Valley’s Barry Levine.

“Our crystal ball says the top-selling smartwatch this season will be...” (indirect link)

And by “crystal ball” VentureBeat mean “highly dubious survey.” So, pretty accurate. It’s about as predictive as a ball that is made of crystal. Slightly less predictive than a Magic 8-Ball, which at least tries to give you answers.

Read more »

12

Reality challenged: Remember those predictions Tim Cook would be fired?

It was just a matter of time, but Apple’s executive corps could only preside over so much market share bloodletting before the bill came due.

Bloomberg says “Apple Executives Set to Pay Price in Overhaul”

If only they’d listened to pundits and licensed iOS or opened it up to antivirus vendors or sold a dirt-cheap iPhone! So sad. Let’s see what the damage will be.

Read more »

37