White elephant: There's a reason they give this advice away

Just like that tacky sweater your mom got you in 1997 that everyone keeps re-gifting, Forbes is the gift that keeps on giving.

And speaking of giving, Eric Jackson doesn’t think Apple should be giving money back to shareholders.

“Apple Returns Cash To Shareholders Because It’s Out Of Ideas On How To Invest It” (indirect link and tip o’ the antlers to weid1)

Read more »


Ad hominem: Apple's advertising is always going to get attacked

The holiday season is upon us so you know what that means. It’s time to complain about Apple’s holiday ad.

Oh, you thought it was about loving your fellow voyagers on this small blue marble or something? Oh, no, no. That’s like eighth or ninth on the list after complaining about Apple’s holiday ad and finding other animals to shove into turkeys before putting them into deep fat fryers.

Setting the stage for this ad-venting calendar back in early November, Julie Love wrote in the San Jose Mercury News:

Read more »


Regifting: If at first your analysis doesn't succeed, try, try again

You know that definition of “insanity” that says it’s “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”? Well, get ready for another Apple appointment with disappointment.

CNBC says “Apple products won’t have as happy a holiday: Survey” (tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

Uh, well, that’s certainly fine except for the fact that PRODUCTS ARE INANIMATE OBJECTS THAT DO NOT EXPERIENCE HAPPINESS ON ANY LEVEL. Boom. Just destroyed your argument.

Read more »


Overboard: Taking iTunes criticism too far

There’s a lot of room for criticism of iTunes, God knows, but when driving the car of criticism, be careful not to swerve out of control on the Information Highway, crash through the guardrails of sanity, and explode spectacularly in mid-air before falling into the Ravine of Baloney.

Like this guy.

Yes, Business Insider’s Jim Edwards is too legit to quit the anti-Apple screed-of-the-week biz. Wonder if he’d take a buyout? (Note to self: Fund via Kickstarter.)

Read more »