Flop flap: Apple Watch comes pre-flopped

Hey, funny story: Turns out that if you discount a lot of things about a device that isn’t shipping yet, it can actually look not so impressive. No, it’s true.

Writing for Fast Company, Mark Wilson says ”You Guys Realize The Apple Watch Is Going To Flop, Right?” (tip o’ the antlers to Neal Butterfield)

Oh, sure. We’re just trying to fill the excitement lull between football season and baseball season. What else are we going to do? Watch hockey? Please. We’re not barbarians.

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Et tu? When good sites go bad.

It’s no secret that Apple drives Internet traffic. This is why every new smartphone is hailed as an iPhone killer, every new laptop a MacBook killer and every new pair of socks an iPod socks killer. But you hate to see this old trick used by sites you respect.

Writing for Re/code, Ina Fried says Watch Out Apple, Samsung. The Powerful $75 Smartphone Is Coming. (tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

This is pretty disappointing from Fried and Re/code. Unnecessarily jamming Apple into headlines isn’t their usual fare.

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Take my advice: Do not take this guy's advice

We live in a society where people are able to freely speak their minds. That's good! Nay, great, even. As a result, there is no level of wrongness that can legally bar someone from talking about a topic. Take, for example, investing in Apple's stock.

Investment advice guy Charles Sizemore is back with more investment advice. You do not, however, have to take it.

"The Apple Watch Will Be a Flop: Here’s Why Apple Doesn’t Care" (tip o' the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

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Driving me crazy: Apple car speculation is out of control

The Macalope loves a good Apple rumor. He eats them up like alfalfa. They're not as nourishing, of course, but they have way fewer calories. What he can't stand is the opining about how these things that don't even exist yet are just another sign of Apple's perpetual state of imagined fail.

Writing for The Boston Herald, Jessica Van Sack warns that "Apple might want to put iCar idea into reverse" (tip o' the antlers to Sean)

Yay! Five years of car puns!

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Car talk: Apple rumors run amok again

A hushed crowd gathers. The excitement is palpable. Suddenly, a puff of white smoke goes up! It’s done! We have a new Apple rumor!

The Apple Car!

The Apple Car? Seriously? Huh. You don’t want to recount that vote? No? OK. Well, fortunately, there’s no need to get excited about an Apple Car. It’s already a failure.

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