Apres Watch, le deluge

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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The Macalope's gonna be honest with you, it was really hard to pick just three this week. The deluge of dumb that resulted from this week's Apple announcements. But let's skim the... well, not the cream. What's under the cream? Is it cheese? Let's just say it's cheese. Because these are super-cheesy reactions.

Figures of speech

Writing for Tiger Beat in the Valley, John Koetsier has the definitive word on the Apple Watch.

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Jumping the gun

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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The reviews of the Apple Watch are in! Writing for the Washington Post, Dominic Basulto hates it!

"Why I’d never buy an Apple smartwatch (even if Anna Wintour loves it)"

Except this was actually written before Tuesday's event. Yes, after describing what we all totally knew for sure about the "iWatch" at 6:30 AM on Tuesday morning, Basulto says:

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Last of a genre

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Tuesday was a big day as Apple announced larger iPhones and the legendary watch and also maybe electric-powered soup? There was kind of a lot in there and the feed kept skipping. Anyway, please enjoy what may be the last “Apple must make a larger phone!” piece you’ll ever be forced to read.

Writing for Wired, Marcus Wohlsen says “Apple Is in Big Trouble if It Doesn’t Make Bigger iPhones” (tip o’ the antlers to Srini Addepalli).

Or, “How To Confuse Share With Raw Numbers.”

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Taking things too far

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Everyone’s going too far this week. First we’ll look at overreactions to the celebrity photo theft. Then a writer wants to make sure you get the unvarnished truth … from two noted anti-Apple quote factories. Finally, it’s time to complain about the iPhone 7!

Array out of bounds

Who else would we turn to for a reaction about the theft of celebrity photos but Business Insider’s Jim Edwards? In his inimitably staid style, Edwards calmly lays out the situation.

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Zero percent science by volume

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Hey, kids! Do you like science? Well, too bad, because there’s none of it in this piece by Robin Lewis, written especially for the Forbes contributor network and clown rodeo.

“How Apple Neurologically Hooked Its Customers” (tip o’ the antlers to Tay Bass).

On January 9, 2007, on a big stage at the Macworld convention at the Moscone Center in San Francisco, Steve Jobs unveiled the first iPhone. With the already unprecedented cult following of Apple …

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Throwing numbers around

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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The Macalope doesn’t know if an “iWatch” is being announced at Apple’s event on September 9, but he sure hopes so, because all this idle speculation is crazy-making. For the idlest of speculations, let’s go to the comedy troop known as the Forbes contributor network and Peter Cohan:

“Will iWatch Add $9 Billion To Apple’s Top Line?” (no link but tip o’ the antlers to Srini Addepalli).

You’ll never guess Cohan’s surprising answer.

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Look what I can do!

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Get ready for some silly pundit tricks, because these guys are more fun than a troop of dancing circus poodles. First, we’ll get a nice slathering of how awesome Android is (totally awesome). Next, a pundit shows us how to be right and wrong at the same time. Finally, the iWatch? Total disappointment.

Yes, we see you, guys! We see you.

Comedy jokes

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