Down is up: Security is unsafe

Get ready to find out once again that the thing you know is actually the opposite.

OK, the Macalope gets it. Questioning assumptions is part of what drives civilization forward. But for every time some forward-thinker questions whether the sun goes around the Earth, someone else questions whether guinea pigs are adorable little furry eggplants with legs.

They’re adorable little furry eggplants with legs! Just accept it! Sometimes your eyes don’t lie to you!

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Scared straight: The iPhone hacking fear that wasn’t

Are you ready to laugh… with terror?

You are? Wow. The Macalope’s not even sure how one does that. But writing for Fortune, Don Reisinger says “FBI's iPhone Crack Has Scared You Silly.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Tay Bass.)

Literally spraying yourself in the face with Silly String kind of scared. So scared, it’s wrapped back around on itself and you’re actually having a good time. That’s how scared.

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An appointment with disappointment: Reaction to the iPhone SE is predictable

If you had “iPhone SE will be derided by pundits as a failure” in the pool then congratulations! You’re a winner!

And by “winner” the Macalope means “loser” as we now have to wade through this together.

Writing for the Forbes contributor network, the place that to-date has categorically disproved the infinite monkeys theory, Ewan Spence says:

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Empty inside: The iPhone SE or our souls?

Writing for Gizmodo, Alex Cranz paints a bleak, post-apocalyptic view of the smartphone landscape, if not human existence.

“iPhone SE Review: The Phone That Proves Apple Is Out of Ideas” (Tip o’ the antlers to @mylestaylor.)

What is it about the iOS products that drive people to fits when Apple doesn’t introduce one that is somehow entirely new? When Apple ships updated Macs that are mostly just speed bumps or slight changes in form factor, no one screams about lack of innovation.

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Lawful conduct: Using the courts is not being above the law

Do people just not understand how the law works? Is that the problem?

Writing for the Financial Post, Diane Francis sees through Apple’s crass marketing scheme disguised as protecting their customers’ privacy. Which they also happen to be trying to do.

“Apple Inc is protecting your privacy? No, it’s putting itself above the law.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Craig Ferry.)

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