Standard reactions

There are certain standard reactions that occur when Apple makes big announcements. The first is to explain how those announcements doom Apple (even if that explanation completely contradicts an argument you'd made previously). The second is to throw a bunch of religious references into your piece. Everyone loves those. The third is to just write some clickbait.

Bigger. Bigger. Nope, too big.

You guys. You guys. Hey, you guys. You're not going to believe this. Business Insider has made an astonishing discovery. It turns out (turns out) that larger phones are...

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Apres Watch, le deluge

The Macalope's gonna be honest with you, it was really hard to pick just three this week. The deluge of dumb that resulted from this week's Apple announcements. But let's skim the... well, not the cream. What's under the cream? Is it cheese? Let's just say it's cheese. Because these are super-cheesy reactions.

Figures of speech

Writing for Tiger Beat in the Valley, John Koetsier has the definitive word on the Apple Watch.

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Last of a genre

Tuesday was a big day as Apple announced larger iPhones and the legendary watch and also maybe electric-powered soup? There was kind of a lot in there and the feed kept skipping. Anyway, please enjoy what may be the last “Apple must make a larger phone!” piece you’ll ever be forced to read.

Writing for Wired, Marcus Wohlsen says “Apple Is in Big Trouble if It Doesn’t Make Bigger iPhones” (tip o’ the antlers to Srini Addepalli).

Or, “How To Confuse Share With Raw Numbers.”

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Taking things too far

Everyone’s going too far this week. First we’ll look at overreactions to the celebrity photo theft. Then a writer wants to make sure you get the unvarnished truth … from two noted anti-Apple quote factories. Finally, it’s time to complain about the iPhone 7!

Array out of bounds

Who else would we turn to for a reaction about the theft of celebrity photos but Business Insider’s Jim Edwards? In his inimitably staid style, Edwards calmly lays out the situation.

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