The Macalope: Of course

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Some questions just answer themselves, don’t they? (Don’t answer that.)

Writing for CNNMoney, Hibah Yousuf asks “Can Microsoft dethrone Apple?” (tip o’ the antlers to Tay Bass)

Hibah, please! Isn’t a better question whether or not Microsoft will do it by next Tuesday or next Wednesday?

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The Macalope Weekly: A fundamental lack of understanding

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Let’s face it, saying ‘iPads cost too much!” is the same thing as saying “I don’t understand why iPads are popular.” And saying that the iPhone 5c isn’t selling well is just another way of saying “I can’t read sales data.” But a Microsoft exec going on and on about how Apple no longer charging for software doesn’t affect Redmond? That’s just saying “I don’t understand our business model.”

I don’t understand!

The San Jose Mercury News’s Troy Wolverton is back and scratching his head over Apple again.

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The Macalope: Who's driving this bus?

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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In today’s episode of To Catch a Troll, TechCrunch’s Alex Wilhelm says:

“Apple Follows In Microsoft’s Windows 8.1 Footsteps, Makes OS X Updates Free” (no link but tip o’ the antlers to Varun Pramanik).

Microsoft provided an update to an existing major release. If we are to follow Wilhelm’s logic—the logic of alternate realities—then technically we would have to go back to the first upgrade Ada Lovelace provided for free to fix bugs in her wood- and spring-based computer. (They were actual bugs.)

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The Macalope: Unspoken alternatives

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Ah, Business Insider. What would we do without you?

Probably lead a rich and fulfilling life.

BI’s Jay Yarrow says “Apple’s iPad Business Unexpectedly Fell Off A Cliff Last Quarter, So It Needs The New iPads To Be Great” (no link but tip o’ the antlers to Wes Kroesbergen).

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The Macalope Weekly: Total failures

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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This week brings us more Apple failures—some of which don’t even exist yet, creating quantum-mechanical implications that Stephen Hawking would have a hard time noodling. That’s right, the as-yet-non-existent Apple smartwatch? Failure. And, of course, we all know the iPhone 5c is a failure, right? It was in all the papers.

A mind-bending state of fail

Writing for Minyanville (which is inexplicably reprinted by Yahoo, Nasdaq, and USA Today), Diane Bullock wonders: “Is Apple wasting its time with the iWatch?” (tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody).

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The Macalope: Trouble from the get-go

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Hey, here’s a fun experiment! Let’s see how long it takes us to find something dumb in this ReadWrite piece by Matt Asay, shall we?

“As iPhone 5C Fades …”

[record scratch]

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The Macalope: Disappointment city

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Population: iPhones.

Yes, the Motley Fool’s Sam Mattera says “Apple’s Latest iPhones Could Be the Most Disappointing in the Company’s History” (no link for reasons that will become obvious, but tip o’ the antlers to Brad Skidmore).

Even more disappointing than the 4GB original iPhone? The plastic 3G that only came with 3G? The 3GS that just came with an ‘S’? The iPhone 4 with the antenna that, uh, what was it? Killed some people or something? What about the iPhone 4s, which only had Siri and absolutely nothing else and Siri didn’t even work and Apple canceled it or something?

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