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1. Crowds jam Cupertino store for midnight release of Mac OS X.
Some people go away disappointed, however, due to a slight mix-up over what X stands for.

2. Applications seem to run slower in Mac OS X's Classic environment than in OS 9.
Well, we're typing this list in Classic, and we haven't noticed any perf . . . orma . . . nce . . . iss . . . ues . . . at . . . a . . . l . . . l.

3. Macromedia's FreeHand 10 runs natively in Mac OS X.
Not to be outdone, Adobe has launched its new "Still Proudly Supporting Mac OS 9" campaign.

4. The new iBook ships without Mac OS X installed.
"We didn't want to frighten the children," Apple executives explain.

5. Windows XP bears a striking resemblance to a certain Mac OS.
"That's preposterous," declares an angry Bill Gates after showing off XP's sporty Agua interface.

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