Welcome, friends, to what is the lucky seventh release of Tangerine Travels. R&D tells me this release has fewer bugs, offers an easy connection to the Internet, and is 35 percent faster than previous columns! How's that for a Marketing pitch? I recently read on CNNfn that the web has over 1 billion pages of content, so clearly there is much ground I need to cover -- and talk about job security! Sit back with me now, ready that second browser window, and let's share a carpool lane onto the information superhighway.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my Steve Jobs-assisted introduction to the new Macintosh Interface known as Aqua. I oohed and aahed just like everyone else, and his phrase "It makes me want to lick it" is now a regularly used part of my daily life, describing everything from classic paintings to graffiti on the subway.
However, I should point out that Aqua is also a terrible, terrible band. Travel back in time with me for a second, and recall that popular bubble-gum pop song "Barbie Girl." Do you remember who sung that stick-in-your-head-all-day perky song? Aqua. They even have a web site where not only can you hear the classic "Barbie Girl," you can catch other musical wonders like "Happy Boys and Girls" and "Good Morning Sunshine."
Let's hope Mac OS X is more successful over the long haul than Aqua was.
Do you know how much I'd like to see Regis say that instead of "...Millionaire?" Come on -- it would be funny! Maybe just for a second, but still funny.
If your goal in life is to suit up as an Imperial Stormtrooper, have I got the web site for you: The Star Wars Stormtrooper 501st Headquarters.
Wow. Everything from the Imperial Staging Area, where you go to pick out which "character" you want to be, to patches, and even a QuickTime movie of the first scene from "Star Wars: Episode One" -- basically, the credits. I'm no super-huge fan of "Star Wars," but anyone who wants to get a jump on their Halloween costume may want to check this site out -- I mean, it is the first -- or is it last? -- Halloween of the Millennium.
Okay, I admit it: I spend very little time in chat rooms, so I'm not hip to the ways of making keystrokes into emotions. Perhaps this web site is... or perhaps it's just another perl script that makes you say "Wow." Either way, the Lame web site is the place to go. Convert anything you can type into the handy text box into what it calls "Lame" text.
This isn't the neatest thing on the web, but it's
W0RTh A lOok.
I am in no way trying to say that clubbing a baby seal is a good idea. But the web site Baby Seal Clubbing for Fun and Profit deserves a look. Be warned, you have to enter this site with a sense of humor, knowing full well this is entirely for fun.
Offended? Then you'll be glad to know that the site's author himself appears in a window, and like the virtual baby seal, he too can be clubbed for fun.
Next week, I plan on surfing regular web pages from irregular places to see if that will heighten my Internet surfing experience. Consider, say, bungie jumping off a railroad bridge while reading an article on Salon.com.
Until then, happy surfing to you all.
Macworld.com Assistant Editor BRETT LARSON is currently working on his upcoming book, Where There's a Will, There are Relatives Waiting to Get Paid, a humorous look at the world of estate planning. You can send your wacky web-site suggestions to Brett at firstname.lastname@example.org. An archive of previous Tangerine Travels columns is also available.