Remains of the Day: A million-dollar bill

On October 4, 2010, Dan Moren was asked to remove himself from his work schedule. That request came from a virus. Deep down, he knew it was right, but he also knew that someday he would return to it. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his childhood friend, Oscar Madison. Sometime earlier, Madison’s virus had knocked him out. Can two men share a remainders column without driving each other crazy?

Apple may surpass Exxon Mobil as most valuable company (Associated Press)

Apple is “on a path to overtake Exxon Mobil Corp. as the largest company by market capitalization,” reports the Associated Press, in a story that mentions quite late in the game that Apple would still need a 12 percent rise in stock price (while Exxon remains flat) for Steve Jobs and the gang to blow past Johhny Oilbaron and whoever else it is that runs Exxon. (Hey, this is Macworld, not Oilworld.)

Writer David K. Randall (any relation to Tony?) finds an exciting hook, but at the end he admits any possible Apple move “to the top of the S&P 500 won’t bring drastic changes.” Then he spends the final two paragraphs complaining about something entirely different: Apple’s $50 billion in cash reserves, complete with a juicy quote from Morningstar analyst Toan Tran.

From his gigantic mattress stuffed with 50,000 million-dollar bills, Steve Jobs laughed and laughed. (What, you’ve never seen a million-dollar bill?)

Glif - iPhone 4 tripod mount and stand (Kickstarter, via Daring Fireball)

Dan Provost and Thomas Gerhardt have designed a kickstand/tripod for the iPhone 4. But making these gadgets ain’t cheap, so they’re using online crowd-funding site Kickstarter to make it happen. If you pledge $20 or more, you get a Glif. For $50 or more, you get a 3D-printed version as soon as the project is funded. For $250, the creators will take you out to dinner. And for a single million-dollar bill, you can probably hire someone to hold your iPhone 4 for you. For life.

Adidas gives up on iAds (Business Insider)

Business Insider reports that Adidas has scotched a $10-million iAd campaign because Apple (personified in the BI report as “Steve Jobs,” because the second most highly valued corporation in the world apparently has just one employee and maybe a collection of janitors) rejected its advertising material three times.

Neither Apple nor Adidas would confirm the report, but it could be true. Can you imagine Steve Jobs wearing one of those Adidas track suits? Yeah, I don’t think he’d even do it if you paid him 10 million-dollar bills directly.

Microsoft to do direct battle with Apple at Mall of America (TUAW)

Julio Ojeda-Zapata of the Pioneer Press in Minnesota (and friend of the Macworld podcast) reports that Microsoft is poised to open a gigantic store in the Mall of America, where everything is gigantic. And the store’s location? Right across the walkway from the existing Apple Store.

You gotta admire the Microsoft retail guys: They are clearly not afraid of being compared directly to Apple, which will be quite easy when you can turn to the left and see Microsoft, then pivot right and see Apple. Or… wait a second. Microsoft’s planning on people going into the wrong store by accident, aren’t they? Diabolical.

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