Remains of the Day: I saw the news today, oh boy

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Usually we here at the remainders consider it our sacred duty to poke fun at the day’s news, but for some reason, the news today just seems too outrageous to mock. Instead, we will consider them with the utmost solemnity. Here are the remainders for Friday, April 1, 2011.

PLAYMOBIL(TM) Apple Store Playset (ThinkGeek)

ThinkGeek is now selling a brand new $180 Playmobil Apple Store playset, complete with miniature iPads, iPhones, and MacBooks, and even a theatre featuring Steve Jobs giving one of his trademark keynotes. You can even plug in your own iPhone to act as Steve’s presentation. Add-ons include a $50 “line kit,” complete with Steve Wozniak atop a Segway. I’m sure it will sell well for them.

iPhone 4 Oppression Kit (iFixit)

If you’re concerned that someone might take apart your iPhone, look no further than iFixit’s iPhone 4 Oppression Kit. It comes with a pair of Pentalobe screws, two screwdrivers to let you remove and replace the iPhone 4’s screws, and a card to keep in your wallet. And it’s all yours for $10. Phone security is very important, so this is an important issue to keep abreast of.

Oracle’s Ellison accused of running executive fighting ring (InfoWorld)

Oracle CEO Larry Ellison has apparently been running an underground fighting ring composed of tech industry executives. To add insult to literal injury, losers were forced to give up stock options to the winners. It seems likely that a lot of jail-time is in all of their futures.

Gmail Motion Beta (Google)

Google has taken a page from Microsoft’s Kinect, creating a motion-based system for interacting with Gmail. In order to open a message, you make a motion like you’re opening a paper message—to send one, pretend you’re licking a stamp. Of course, there are many more motions as well. Really, it’s quite ingenious. What will those Google folks think of next?

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