Remains of the Day: iPhone 5:3

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And lo, there shall come a day when all will gaze upon the power and the glory of a new iPhone! Soon. Really. Anyyyyyy minute now. Just be patient. It’s coming. Probably.

While you’re waiting for that, you might want to read about Apple’s new huge retail store, Facebook’s secret iPad app, and how Steve Jobs controls the world’s supply of traditional delicious American fare. The remainders for Monday, July 25, 2011 are here to comfort you.

(No, it’s still not here. Don’t make me turn this post around.)

Verizon CEO: We Expected iPhone 5 in Early Summer, Now Planning For Fall (MacRumors)

So we’ve already discussed what the next iPhone might look like or how many there might be, but when might it descend from the heavens? No less than newly minted Verizon CEO Lowell McAdam said that the network had expected a new iPhone in the summer, but now believes it will be released in the fall. Huh. I feel like I’ve heard this before somewhere.

Apple’s ‘Grand’ opening (The New York Post)

Looks like Apple is pitching its tent in Grand Central Terminal after all. And by “tent,” we mean “23,000-square-foot store.” The retail location will cost Cupertino $800,000 per year for the first 10 years of its lease, after which the rent goes to a cool million. Apple did negotiate one concession from Grand Central’s landlord, the Metropolitan Transit Authority: A train line that directly connects all of New York City’s disparate Apple Stores.

Chinese city orders two fake Apple Stores to close (Reuters)

Speaking of Apple Stores, remember those knockoff retail operations in China? Government officials have shut down two of the stores—because they didn’t have the right permits. Man, you know, I always forget to fill out my Form 27A4-3/9, “Permission to Copy Someone Else’s Business.”

Facebook’s iPad App Is Hidden Inside Of Their iPhone App (TechCrunch)

Like the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop, it turns out that Facebook has cleverly concealed its forthcoming iPad app inside the code of its iPhone app. TechCrunch uncovered the code and even figured out how to use it, though it required jailbreaking an iPad first. In an additional odd development, it turns out that buried inside that iPad version of Facebook’s app is the code for the Google+ iPad client. Weird.

Price of corn dogs going up? Blame Steve Jobs (The Seattle Times)

Because Steve Jobs has cornered the market on corn dogs.

No, seriously, columnist Brier Dudley’s argument is that minimart owners will buy iPads and, in order to pay for them, raise the prices on their products—like corn dogs. Question: Do people really buy corn dogs at minimarts? I just assumed they were shellacked replicas of America’s poor dietary choices kept around for the tourists. In related news, Apple’s stock price is all due to a butterfly flapping its wings on a small island in the South Pacific.

Apple’s Campus Bikes Are Classically Minimal (Wired)

Wired’s got a look at the bikes that Apple employees use to travel around 1 Infinite Loop and—holy cow, it’s a slow news day, huh?

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