The Macalope Daily: Weak

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And now, for the definitive analysis of Apple’s quarterly results, we turn to a man banned from the securities industry by the SEC!

As you know, no links for Henry Blodget—that’s the Macalope’s standing rule for those who’ve reached the jerktastic heights he has—but this missive is titled “Here’s The Chart That Should Scare The Heck Out Of Apple Investors…” (Tip o’ the antlers to Harry Marks.)

Uh-huh. You know, by all rights, Blodget should burst into flames every time he tries to open his mouth about Apple.

Hmm. Come to think of it, the Macalope knows some Furies. He should talk to them about that.

Apple’s weak quarter…

Bwa-wha-huh? Which quarterly results were you watching? Apparently not the one where Apple “set new marks for quarterly revenue and earnings.”

In Henry Blodget’s world, “Apple’s weak quarter” is shorthand for “iPhone sales were only huge instead of massive.”

This weakness was most likely exacerbated by Apple’s decision to move the release of the phone from June to September this year.

Assuming you’re talking about the “weakness” in Apple “only” shipping 21 percent more iPhones compared to the prior year—even without the benefit a new model—then yes. As a side note, the Macalope truthfully did find it slightly lame of Apple to try to blame this on rumors. This brown and furry beast is no fan of the relentless barrage of ridiculous, made-up junk we suffer through leading up to every announcement, but come on, Apple. Your product was out there for 16 months.

The latest version of Android phones, running “Ice Cream Sandwich”, will have many features that are as good as, or better, than the latest iPhone.

And people who buy for features will love them. People who buy for user experience will continue to prefer the iPhone.

It has caused Apple to lose more market-share globally to Android.

Boy, you’d think Apple actually lost market share to Android. But as Blodget’s own chart shows, Apple’s market share continues to rise.

Or, worse, you might think that market share mattered.

The risk on the market-share side is that the same thing will happen to Apple in smartphones that happened to it in the PC market in the 1990s: A ubiquitous platform (Windows) grows so rapidly that eventually it becomes the industry standard and reduces Apple to a premium niche product.

Sweet, crunchy alfalfa, are you still pushing that line? What are the supposed dire consequences of this, Henry? In the 1990s, it was that developers would stop making applications for your platform. Does it seem even remotely possible that developers will stop making apps for iOS, the platform where all the money is?

No. And yet you keep trotting this out.

This market-share loss in the 1990s nearly killed Apple, so the stakes couldn’t be higher.

No, what nearly killed Apple was not making any money. You’d think even someone who got banned from trading stocks would know that.

Adding to these advantages, Apple has also launched—and dominates—a whole new application of its iOS platform: The iPad. Android is nowhere in tablets, as nor is anyone else.

Blodget is the number one candidate on the Macalope’s list of people who will start screaming about how “Android” tablets are stealing market share when the Kindle Fire comes out. Despite, of course, the fact that the Kindle Fire is not “Android” and its buyers probably weren’t going to be Apple customers anyway.

Apple investors should keep a close eye on this…

Henry, buddy, are you giving stock advice? Because even if you’re technically allowed to do that, common decency dictates that you shouldn’t.

(Disclosure: the Macalope holds an insignificant number of Apple shares.)

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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