Patience is apparently not a singular virtue of the techno-pundit class, a thesis that the Macalope will propose to you in three acts.
Act 1: The Phantom Letter, IN 3D!
The Boy Genius Report’s Zach Epstein (he of the love letter to Windows 8) warns that “Apple could be in hot water over ‘iTV.’” “iTV,” as the Macalope’s willowy yet sturdy readers know, is the rumored name of Apple’s equally rumored television set. Said rumored name is also the actual name of a British television network, which Epstein says has sent a sternly worded warning to Apple about its trademark concerns.
Or, well, not, as iTV (the company, not the device) has since denied sending said letter.
So, a rumored name was not cause for a sternly worded letter! Wow!
Phew. That was exciting, wasn’t it? About as exciting as The Phantom Menace in 3D.
Act 2: A done deal
GigaOm’s Kevin C. Tofel has read rumors of the existence of an 8-inch iPad in the Wall Street Journal, and that’s good enough for him!
See, Tofel is a proponent of a smaller iPad because:
It’d be smaller, and smaller = guaranteed winner.
Other companies sell them, and that means it’d be a guaranteed winner.
The iPod touch is neither a phone nor a tablet.
It’d be less expensive, so it’d be a guaranteed winner.
Well, that’s it then. Kudos to Tofel for getting Apple to agree with him.
Oh, you think this device might just be a test unit and may never see the light of day? Huh. Well, someone’s sure going to owe Kevin an apology if that’s the case!
Act 3: Pre-judging
ZDNet’s Matthew Miller says “There’s not enough in the rumored iPad 3 specs for me to upgrade, how about you?”
Aside from not mentioning Siri at all, the Macalope was surprised to find that this post lacked the ever-important user poll. Apparently, Miller is content to let readers register their valuable opinions about the merits of rumored specifications on a yet-to-be-announced device in comments. Like a bunch of suckers! What, did budget cutbacks at ZDNet force them to cancel their subscription to Survey Monkey?
Whatever the case, we know one thing for sure: It’s out of the question to wait for a device to actually be announced before we consider whether or not it’s worth purchasing.
[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]