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The reviews for Schrödinger’s phone (the phone that’s both “already here” and “coming soon”) are in! And some reviewers seem to be wondering what the heck it is they’re looking at.

Now, the Macalope knows how the Samsung Galaxy Note must feel. With a body like a human; a head like a Classic Mac; and the hooves, fur, and antlers of an antelope, he gets some funny looks at the mall.

Not in the Apple Store, of course, but in the rest of the mall.

Still, the Macalope has a substantially larger target market than the Galaxy Tab. And he generally gets better reviews than this.

Gizmodo: “Samsung Galaxy Note Lightning Review: Wait, Who Ordered This?”

Should You Buy It?

Only if you have giant hands, bad eyesight, and watch an imperial crapton of video on your phone.

The Boy Genius Report is even more emphatic: “Samsung’s Galaxy Note is the most useless phone I’ve used”.

I feel like no one else is saying this, and since I’ve not ever been one to hold back what’s on my mind I absolutely will—enough is enough. I’ve had it with incremental updates to Android smartphones every two weeks, I’ve had it with the super-sized ridiculousness, and I’ve had it with all of these marketing gimmicks. Just focus on a quality product, and you won’t have to release eight “flagship” models a year.

Hey, yeah! That does sound like a better idea! Who knew?

Oh, right.

This phone might seem unusual to us, but it’s really not that unusual to Samsung. The Macalope doesn’t know the specific number, but he’s pretty sure the company makes somewhere in the vicinity of 9,000 different phones. And none of them had a five-inch screen until number 9,001 came alone.

The weird thing, though, is that this is Samsung’s supposed flagship product. The product it chose to be the centerpiece of its Super Bowl ad. Wonder how much that set the company back.

On the other hand, “flagship product” at Samsung is kind of like “employee of the month” at a fast-food restaurant. No one will remember the flagship product a year from now.

Well, maybe they’ll remember this one because it’s so laughable.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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