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Awww, look out tablet market! Here comes Dell!

“Dell sees room to challenge Apple in tablets”

Admittedly, it’s a small room. More like a closet.

A growing dissatisfaction among office workers with the clunky computers their employers force them to use, in contrast to the sleek Apple devices many have at home, could yet benefit incumbent suppliers like Dell…

Waiiiiiit forrrrrr iiiiiiit…

…a top Dell executive said.

Boo-yah! Yes, according to Dell, the company’s created a terrific opportunity for itself by foisting a bunch of crap on people for years!

As Apple’s third-generation iPad went on sale on Friday, accompanied by the now traditional scenes of fans queuing round the block, Dell’s chief commercial officer Steve Felice said the tablet market was still wide open.

Remember, kids, the PC market has “standardized” on Windows and the smartphone market has “standardized” on Android, but the tablet market where Apple dominates is still anyone’s to take!

“We’re very encouraged by the touch capability we are seeing in the beta versions of Windows 8,” Felice told Reuters in an interview in London, adding that Dell may also make Android tablets again.

Dell went on to say that it was also considering making tablets that run Ubuntu, OS/2 Warp, or a ham sandwich. Not that it’s desperate or anything.

Felice said that Dell’s relationships with its thousands of business customers gave it an advantage over Apple, whose gadgets can cause headaches for IT departments because they operate on different systems.

Well, Felice is right about one thing. Tablets that don’t exist yet certainly don’t cause IT departments any headaches.

“On the commercial side there are a lot of concerns about security, interoperability, systems and device management, and I think Dell is in the best position to meet those,” Felice said.

Are there any concerns about the fact that your Windows 8 tablet doesn’t exist yet?

He added that iPads also left much to be desired in terms of processing power and ease of typing.

Oh, totally. But they kinda make up for those drawbacks by actually existing right now.

Dell has also just launched a so-called ultrabook, a high-end notebook that is light and thin but still at least as powerful as a regular laptop.

And it’s totally different from the MacBook Air because the place where you rest your palms is black instead of silver so don’t even, Apple fanbois.

Asked whether he envied Apple’s ability to produce such coveted objects, Felice…

Dodged the question.

…said: “We come at the market in a different way …”

A crappier way. One that reminds people of how they spend their lives toiling away for a company that would just as soon harvest them for their organs as give them a positive computing experience. But, still, a different way.

“In the areas where we come at the market, we think we are a coveted brand.”

True! Amongst corporate IT shops that hate their users with the fiery heat of a thousand suns, Dell is number one!

Sure, there are some shops still partying like it’s 1999 that will love to have Dell tablets and will be happy to wait until late 2012 to deploy them. For everyone else, there’s the iPad.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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