The Macalope Daily: The Apple doomsday cult

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Because it’s been hurled at Apple fans so much, the Macalope usually eschews the term “cult.” He wouldn’t use it on Windows users, or Android users, or even Linux users. But how else to describe the people who continually predict Apple’s demise? It’s hard to believe, but these people are still out there and, like members of any cult, no facts or figures or electric shock therapy will cure them of their wacky beliefs.

This time it’s Rocco Pendola writing for TheStreet, which graciously hosts so many of these missives, possibly as part of a government make-work program for crazy people.

“Apple’s Downfall Coming” (tip o’ the antlers to stinmass)

I wrote something as a bit of an aside in a recent TheStreet article about and Pandora…

…that defies logic.

He seems like a nice guy so I hate to say it, but Apple’s downfall will come courtesy of Tim Cook. With Jobs gone, Cook has already made a mockery of his legacy. First, a dividend and a buyback. And now rumors of something Jobs detested—a mini iPad.

First of all, the lack of a dividend is hardly part of Jobs’s legacy. Jobs’s legacy is that of a single-minded vision of shipping well-designed products that deliver an exceptional user experience and appeal to a broad base of users. Second, while rumors do not a product make, it’s important to point out that Jobs also derided television as something you turn your brain off to watch.

The Macalope guesses it’s not surprising that many Wall Street jockeys are still clueless about such heady topics as Apple, and Steve Jobs, and how soup works.

Before I expand on this…

…I need to stretch out so I don’t pull a groin muscle shoveling this much horse manure.

Without doubt, gaggles of cynics will label me master of the obvious.

Actually, the Macalope’s not even sure you’ve mastered that.

AAPL bulls have made a profound error: After rightly heaping praise on Steve Jobs for Apple’s enormous success, many of them now discount his contribution, claiming that mere mortals can run the show without missing a beat.

Truth be told, the people who said Jobs did it all, including the soldering, were wrong. There are countless examples of how opportunities would have been missed—such as not shipping iTunes for Windows—if things had been done strictly Jobs’s way. Will Apple be the same without him? No. But it wasn’t a one-man show, either.

Jobs made the people around him better. He willed them to accomplish the impossible.

It’s amazing how touchy-feely so many of these “APPLE IS DOOOOMED” pieces are. Probably because when you look at the company’s fundamentals you can’t make the case with a straight face.

The Chinese Government needs to have CEOs visit them and shake their hands. Jobs never would have done such a thing, despite his fondness for Eastern spirituality and such.

Right. Despite the time he spent in India studying Buddhism, Jobs never would have shaken the hand of the leader of the country that invaded Tibet. Weird! What a dichotomy.

Almost all of Pendola’s house of frayed cards is built on the assumption that Apple will be releasing an iPad mini, which most Apple experts seem to think won’t happen any time soon, if ever. But, apparently, lack of any ground to stand on isn’t a hinderance to writing for TheStreet.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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