The Macalope Daily: Peeling the stinky onion

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Reading Business Insider is like peeling an onion. So many stinky, stinky layers.

This Jay Yarow piece is what brought the Macalope to the rancid vegetable stand that Henry Blodget built:

“Android Is Suddenly In A Lot Of Trouble”

Suddenly? As John Gruber points out, this isn’t new. Android’s always had problems, ranging from fragmentation to the fact that it’s not really generating a lot of revenue for Google. It’s just that pageview-hungry rags like Business Insider chose not to look at these problems, because they’d rather try to tweak Apple fans by talking about how DOOOOMED the iPhone was.

Already astounded by the late-to-the-gameness of this piece, the Macalope noticed another on the sidebar by Henry Blodget that’s whimsically titled:

“Boy, Maybe Apple Really Is In Trouble—The Zealots Have Gone Silent”

So, we know this piece will be full of nothing but quality analysis. Please proceed.

Earlier, we reported a fact that could be construed as negative for Apple—that iPhone sales had plunged 24% quarter over quarter at Verizon—and we weren’t immediately attacked by a band of crazed fanboys.

Or, and this is just a thought, maybe it’s because you’re an incorrigible hack and nobody takes what you have to say seriously. Just throwing that out there as a possibility.

(But that’s what it really is.)

Still, let us not engage only in ad hominem attacks. Let us do that and deconstruct his argument. That way we cover all the bases. So, what’s the piece that Blodget thinks should have gotten us “zealots” all wound up into a fit of zeal, a veritable zealatonous goo?

“Suddenly Everyone Is Scared Apple Won’t Sell Enough iPhones”

Wow! Really? Everyone? Why is that?

Apple sold 3.2 million iPhones at Verizon, which is pretty good. It was more than half of all smartphone sales at Verizon.

However, it was a 24 percent drop on a quarter over quarter basis.

A 24 percent drop…from the quarter that the iPhone 4S launched. And the iPhone made up more than half of the phones Verizon sold. So, the problem couldn’t be Verizon instead of Apple, right? Not when you’re writing for Business Insider, because Verizon doesn’t have a fan base that unscrupulous link-baiters like Blodget try to exploit.

Even Jay Yarow can’t keep a straight face on this one:

The Verizon sales trend probably won’t hold across the board. Apple will likely beat expectations.

See, the thing is, Henry, we’re used to Wall Street making all kinds of bass ackwards moves when it comes to Apple. If those guys want to leave money on the table, it’s no skin off our backs.

The Macalope’s not saying Apple’s going to hit $1000. Heck if he knows. But look at Apple’s share price over the last year and see if that looks troubling to you.

Thought not.

Oh, and Business Insider? The Macalope appreciates your little Web doohickey that dumps a link into the slightest quote he pulls from your site. It gives his deleting hoof lots of exercise.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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