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For some inexplicable reason, some people seem to be preternaturally disposed toward being wrong about Apple. Join the Macalope, if you will, as he once again examines the strange case of Katherine Noyes.

Now, before you look at this piece, try to think to yourself, “How hard could it be to write a piece about Google selling phones directly that has one mention of Apple and yet get that mention factually incorrect?”

You’d think it’d be pretty hard, right? Well, not when the spirit is taken by the power of “open.” We’ve been over this a hundred times, but Noyes is an open-source enthusiast. Which is fine. Great, even. Yay for you and for open-source. The problem comes when the enthusiasm turns into tunnel vision.

Let’s be frank: None of us is completely immune to it. But Noyes has turned it into an art form. A dull, open-source art form for which the sound card doesn’t work, but it’s totally easy to compile your own driver, come on, no big deal, why would you waste your money on some “walled garden” that… hey, where are you going?

“Android 5.0 Will Launch this Fall with Five Nexus Devices: Report”

When Android 5.0 “Jelly Bean” launches this fall, it will appear first on several new mobile devices sold by Google itself as part of the “Nexus” line.

That’s according to a Tuesday story in the Wall Street Journal, which reports that Google is shifting its Android strategy so that it will not only give select mobile-device makers early access to new releases, but will also sell the resulting devices unlocked directly to consumers.

So, what we have here is another attempt by Google to cut out the middleman and sell directly to consumers. This hasn’t worked thus far for them so the Macalope’s not sure why Noyes thinks it will now. But she does!

So Long, Fragmentation

Because Google will sell five phones directly, fragmentation will be a thing of the past! It’s that easy!

Bypassing wireless carriers, of course, has the potential to enrage the carriers themselves.

You think?

Still, the shift could be an exciting one, removing as it would any disadvantage Android might face in its ongoing competition with Apple…

Any disadvantage. Seriously. So, according to Noyes, fragmentation is the only area where Android falls short when compared to the iPhone and iPad. And solving this disadvantage is as easy as Google selling a few phones directly.

The fact that Android users don’t buy apps? Not a disadvantage. That fact that malware on Android has quadrupled in the past year? Not a disadvantage. Indeed, after long touting the inherent security advantage of Android because “Open, yay!”, Katherine simply no longer discusses the issue. Inconvenient facts need not be submitted into evidence.

People wonder why the Macalope continues to rage against the machine, but the thing is Noyes is not trolling for hits. She really believes this stuff.

And now you know why the Macalope drinks.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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