The Macalope Daily: You talkin' to me?

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In writing a post ostensibly about three things that should trouble Apple, developer and admitted Canadian Guy English doesn’t mention the Macalope by name, but he might as well have.

In his lead up to the things three, English calls out a beloved genre of Apple punditry.

I believe that many Apple observers have been too invested in picking off the low hanging fruit of obviously out-of-touch commentators, columnists, and analysts. Apple is winning. It’s fun to pick on the idiots, and we do tune in for the affirmation that engenders, but that’s not insight. It’s a tag team wedgie patrol. It takes a cleaver intellect to dismantle bull** but, ultimately, it often just ends up with pantsing the dumb guy.

Well … what if he really, really deserves it?

Hang on, though, because the Macalope gets English’s point, but he doesn’t completely buy the whole thesis. The pointy one would argue that this exercise actually can be insightful. In coming up with responses to some of this nonsense, we can actually better define what’s going on in the market.

Let’s take Android for instance. For well over a year, people have been arguing that Android is winning because it’s got higher market share, and as part of deconstructing this argument we’ve learned first that Google makes more money off iOS than Android, and then that Android isn’t even a very good business for Google. Google doesn’t publish those numbers, but the smarter students have been able to intuit them. That’s insightful.

Anyway, let’s face it. The Macalope’s never going to stop handing out wedgies. Also, he must point out that many of these people are not considered “the dumb guy,” as English puts it. They’re actually considered smart! Some of them run big companies that are considered to be “winning”! (Can’t wait until next month! Wear something with an elastic waistband, Eric!)

Many of them are merely idiots, but even without getting too far down into the barrel you can find enough emperors without clothes on to populate a nudist colony. Assuming that’s something you were looking to do.

Rather than doing that let’s aim to pants the A-grade quarterback.

Here are the top three problems I believe Apple faces in the near term.

English is a smart feller and the Macalope has not one quibble with his list. And he’s right. When we’re doling out wedgies, noogies, snicker-snags, and pantsings we should not give anyone a free ride.

Well, wedgies are kind of like a ride. But you know what the Macalope means.

In addition to English’s list, the Macalope would add Apple’s lackadaisical attitude toward Mac security, which he’s commented on recently. Another bee in his antler-friendly bonnet is Apple’s self-serving App Store rules. The Macalope hopes there’s some reasonable explanation of why Apple yanked Rogue Amoeba’s Airfoil from the iTunes App Store that doesn’t amount to “the house always wins.”

Maybe Apple fans do spend too much time punching dopes, but the Macalope does not feel that it’s without merit or reward.

Also it’s just fun.

(Disclosure: Rogue Amoeba has previously been an advertiser on the Macalope’s site.)

[Editors’ Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week’s coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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