The Macalope Daily: Great expectations

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Apple announced its quarterly results yesterday and kudos to commenter mblaydoe, who called it on Monday:

Ugh. Clockwork should be so predictable. What normally happens is that Apple will report about 115% gain over their own prediction, but slightly less than what some pundits have put out there. The pundits will then proclaim that Apple missed “expectations” and Apple share value will immediately drop but bounce back shortly thereafter.

Anybody see it playing out any differently?

Technically, Apple’s results were only 103 percent of its guidance. But, of course, we all know that it’s Wall Street’s estimates—which are pulled out of orifices not meant for such purposes—that matter, not Apple’s guidance. Hence, you probably saw a lot of talk about how Apple “missed” this quarter, like it was absent from school on the day of a test or something. Although it still somehow got all of the answers right and did some of the extra credit.

MacJournals noted that TV analysts repeatedly called the numbers “a miss” without providing the context. The bubble that Wall Street lives in certainly is shiny, isn’t it? They create the numbers and it’s up to Apple to best them.

Even Ed Bott chimed in:

Every analyst covering AAPL wanted a pony. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

And Apple ruined Wall Street’s pony/princess-themed birthday party! Ruined it!

[sob, stomp off, slam door]

Despite having a good quarter, it’s true that Apple’s growth was slower than it has been since 2009, and the bulls who thought there might be a blowout quarter were off on this one. That that’s a rarity speaks to how well Apple’s been doing for the past ten years or so—not that you’d get that impression from the massive fail-o-gram sent out over the wires during and after Apple’s Tuesday conference call.

As long as we’re trying to find things too complain about, though, (“The crispness of the bills in your giant pile of cash is giving me paper cuts!”), the Macalope does think it’s a little lame of Tim Cook to, for at least the second time, blame low iPhone sales on rumors. Sure, he has to say something, but it’s not like Apple rumors are exactly a new thing. And it’s not like Apple’s good quarters are rumor-free.

At any rate, before you worry about Apple’s big miss, remember that its misses put other companies’ wins to shame.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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