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… they pull me back in!

Look, TechCrunch’s Matt Burns. Is it too much to ask for the Macalope to take just a week of much-needed vacation?

“Android is Winning”

Seriously with this? We did this already. When you’re recycling tired tropes from Henry Blodget, you know you should seriously question the life choices that have led you to this moment.

The latest numbers are in: Android is on top, followed by iOS in a distant second.

Yes. This is undeniable. No one is denying it. Not even the “Apple fanboys” you speak of.

What we’re arguing about is the definition of “winning.”

This word comes from Gartner, a top research firm for these sorts of things.

Ed Bott:

Ha ha ha… Wait, TechCrunch is serious?

Apparently. It is a thing of beauty, though, when Apple fans and Microsoft fans can come together to laugh at the credulity of Google fans. Almost brings a tear to the Macalope’s eye. Still, while Gartner is not the final word on, well, anything more complicated than pudding, no one is arguing that Android isn't ahead globally.

There is no denying Android’s dominance anymore. There is no way even the most rabid Apple fanboy can deny that iOS is in second place now. Android is winning.

Keep saying it, because it keeps getting funnier every time you do.

Consumers are simply (and wisely) not buying iPhones as much right now when it’s clear a new one is right around the corner.

So true! iPhone sales were only up 28 percent year-over-year last quarter!

In fact iOS’ market share only improved nominally year-over-year.

But it did improve. And, as we keep pointing out—though none of you want to talk about this—Apple continues to rake in the largest share of the profit, and its developers consistently make more money. Oh, and then there’s the iPad, which Burns conveniently neglects to mention.

During Apple’s best iPhone quarter, Q1 of 2012, the company moved 33M iPhones—an impressive feat considering there are only three models. Now, during Android’s best quarter, there were 98M units sold. There is simply no comparison.

Sure isn’t when you don’t note how many models of Android phones there are.

This war is starting to heat up. It’s no longer just a playground fight between fanboys. Developers cannot ignore Android.

Actually, they can and probably will. In addition to leading in units sold, Android also leads in malware and users who simply don’t pay for apps. What Android has done is to get more people to replace their old “feature phones” (actual features not included) with cheap Android phones. These users aren’t interested in a mobile platform, they just want to make call and send texts. This is why Samsung’s best-selling phone is a prepaid.

The old mantra of releasing on iOS and then eventually hitting Android needs to be rethought.

Uh-huh. Tell you what, why don’t you hold your breath until that happens?

Google Play is a mess and Android has a very big problem with piracy. Android the ecosystem still sucks, but Android the mobile platform is winning.

Perhaps it’s your definitions of “winning” that needs to be rethought.

OK, now the Macalope is really on vacation. Totally.

Just … stop writing stuff, OK?

[Programming Note: The Macalope will really, truly be off until mid next week. We swear.]

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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