Since it hit the platform this summer, Aspyr Media’s The Sims has captured the imaginations of Mac gamers – so much so that some aren’t stopping at just playing the game. Not content to merely control the lives of their virtual creations, some gamers have created skins and patches to liven up The Sims. And truth is sometimes stranger than fiction – try to tell which of the following are actual Sims downloads and which are just products of our fevered imaginations.
The Nude Patch:
Now your Sims can walk around wearing only a smile. This patch also removes the blurry spot that appears when the Sims shower.
The Slot Machine Patch:
Install a slot machine in the living room, and watch your Sims fulfill their tiny dreams of avarice.
The Ebola Patch:
Flesh-eating viruses are no laughing matter (except when it’s virtual flesh).
The Bill Clinton Patch:
This is one of the many skins that changes the look of the Sims – in this case, giving them a striking resemblance to a certain commander in chief.
The Monica Lewinsky Patch:
If combined with the Nude Patch and the Bill Clinton Patch, this patch just spells trouble.
The Ken Starr Patch:
Look out, Mr. President! He’s got a subpoena!
The Marijuana Plant Patch:
It’s just there for decoration – don’t expect to see your Sims turning on and dropping out.
The Titanic Patch:
One simple download, and your Sims’ humble abode looks like the deck of the doomed ocean liner. Tell that Canadian chanteuse to knock off her caterwauling!
The Napster Patch:
Help your Sims stick it to the Man as they illegally download copyrighted material without paying a cent.
The Teleporter Patch:
Boldly go where no Sim has gone before.
The John Rocker Patch:
Download the mouthy Atlanta Braves pitcher in either his home or road uniform.
The Bill Gates Patch:
Who wouldn’t want his Sim to look like the world’s richest man?
The Steve Ballmer Patch:
Who wouldn’t want his Sim to look like the world’s richest man’s ill-tempered sidekick?
The Plague Patch:
Buy a guinea pig, and watch in horror as it unleashes a virus that destroys your Sims, your game, and your God complex.
The Jerry Garcia Patch:
Jerry lives, dude! And he’s eyeing that Marijuana Plant Patch a little too conspicuously for our taste.
ANSWERS: c), f), h), i), and m) are all willful, deliberate frauds. If you were able to weed out the lies from the actual Sims patches, congratulations. And try to get out of the house more.