Tangerine Travels #8: Ready to start licking…

Welcome to what is the eighth edition of Tangerine Travels, a feat ABC news said “would never happen.” Or was that the response to the possibility of Kathie Lee Gifford hosting “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” Let’s get started, shall we?

What are we licking?

As you may remember from the keynote at January’s Macworld Expo 2000, Steve Jobs said the Aqua interface would be so nice you’d want to lick it. Considering I haven’t seen even a developer preview, I have nothing to lick. Well, I could lick OS 9, but why? I may as well lick my cat Winston [see picture, right], as the experience would be equally rewarding, I’m sure. But believe me, when I see Aqua on my desktop I’ll be sure to let you know if I really feel like reaching out my tongue and laying a nice wet lick on the screen.

 

Bea Arthur, Beanaked

We just can’t get enough Bea Arthur! First she appeared in my column when we discovered a Star Wars holiday special (starring her, as well as the rest of the Star Wars crew), and now Bea Arthur, Beanaked ! Unfortunately, for those of you who pay monthly fees to access certain areas of the Internet — you know, the ones that KidSafe won’t let you see ? — you won’t see what the site name suggests. Take my word for it, this Web site is kid-safe. I’d even suggest this site to my grandmother, Nan. No, there are no nude pictures of Bea Arthur — in fact, I’m thinking she’s got nude photographs of someone else and that’s what kept her career going so long. What you will get by visiting the site: Theme songs of her two popular shows ( Golden Girls , Maude ), sound clips of Bea, Bea sightings, and everything else you’d expect from a fansite, including information on ordering the bumpersticker seen below.

Who wants to be the next Mahir?

[ http://members.home.net/charlie.king/ted.html ]

I have one word to describe this Web site (it’s a good thing I don’t get paid by the word): Totally Lame (okay, two – I want to get used to getting paid by the word).

Seems Ted had a friend (or maybe he’s running his own PR) set up a really stupid – and I mean really stupid – Web site featuring an animated picture of Ted. Well, four Teds to be exact, all sporting some really-bad-hair-day depiction of Ted with a red mohawk.

His friend (or Ted, could have been Ted) then sent out an e-mail encouraging people to pass it along in an attempt to make Ted known the World round. I only have one hope, that whomever sees Ted doesn’t think of breeding with Ted, as Ted offspring are the last thing this planet needs, as well as Ted’s Web site. Sorry, Ted.

What’s a block of wood?

Ask the person who decided to make a Palm case and cradle, and they’ll tell you wood is the next logical step. This site has nifty photos of what a Palm would look like if it were housed in wood. The pictures make it look pretty cool (it’s at the right) – so cool in fact, that when they become available, I may consider getting one.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t that “Wood-Grain Formica” stuff you’d see on the dash of the high-end Kia. No, this is real wood! The author of the site makes no mention of availability of his product, or even if it’s a product and not just another heaping waste of bandwidth. If all the site does is inspire you to be creative with your Palm (Or Handspring for that matter)… Go for it, click it, you know you want to…[ http://www.rediakas.com/noautorizada.html ]

A lot in common…

What do Ricky Martin, George W. Bush and Hillary Rodham Clinton have in common? Besides being able to cover up their private life secrets, a lot! They are all featured “artists” on the Unreel Cinema Web site [ http://home.netscape.com/netcenter/unreel/ln_previous.html ]. Yes, the same folks who brought us a wonderful spoof of the Steve Jobs January keynote have brought us quite a few other entertaining movies, which you may already know if you’ve checked out their “Previous Episodes” section. I spent quite a lot of time “researching” their site before I wrote this column. I found that the Ricky Martin episode had me laughing so loud that nearby co-workers called to ask me not what I was looking at, but if I could keep the noise down. Check out the Web site for a whole slew of funny movies, and maybe laugh loud enough to bother your co-workers.

In Conclusion

Okay, so this column didn’t end faster than pop artists Backstreet Boys’ careers should have, and I thank you for preventing that. Next time: The DNA results are in… Al Gore isn’t the father of the Internet. My friend(s)… happy surfing.

Brett Larson just finished working on his yet-to-be released book “It’s Over, Johnny,” a biography on the life of the great convenience store manager Johnny Smith.