This week I decided to take it upon myself to sit down and name my
iMac. Simply calling it “my tangerine buddy” seems fitting, but so
does “Let’s get a cup of coffee while it reboots.” And I find
“Brett’s iMac” a bit too routine.
No, friends, instead I chose to go with something more useful, more
compelling, more likely to elicit cries of “You named your computer
” Like everything I’ve ever tried to do, there is a
story that goes along with it, and in the interests of your eyes and
my hands, I’ll keep it brief.
My father, Bruce Larson, worked for Apple Computer from 1983 to 1994.
When he first got a Macintosh with a built-in hard drive, the support
department at Apple named it “Larsony.” And so I name this iMac
Someone break a bottle of champagne–just not on
the iMac, please!
Yes, friends, the rumors are true. The ungodly union of the
has produced offspring. The result is called the
–not nearly as clever a name as
if I do
say so myself.
Watch as Mahir dances, plays the accordion, plays a game of table
tennis with a dancing hamster, taps his foot to Isaac Hayes’ “Shaft,”
and has a severe medical problem involving his Speedo. Although it is
about as stimulating–and just as annoying over a long period of time
as the Hamster Dance itself–it certainly gives you one more reason
to justify spending money on an internet account and avoiding the
world of Must-See TV.
Fair warning: Although the Dancing Mahir site is the best thing to
come down my Internet pipe in some time, it’s not for the timid.
Don’t say I
didn’t warn you!
Nov. 11, 1999
You’re Mac The Knife, aren’t you.
Alright, I’ll fess up.
Enough said. Keep sending your Dear Brett letters to
Or for real advice, head to the
Dear Abby Web
. At least you can ask her the hard questions, like “Is
online gambling the same thing as gambling?”
Keep ‘Em Coming!
I am not a member of any organized Macintosh user group. However, I
would like to encourage any Macintosh user group to send me their
e-mail or snail-mail newsletter whenever they’d like.
That’s because I recently received the newsletter of the North Jersey
Mac Apple User Group. Weighing in at a whopping 15 pages, I was
impressed with their coverage of the recent release of OS 9, and
discussion of the Power Mac G4. But one word of advice: upgrade your
comic pages. I couldn’t read a word. No reading, no laughing.
However, a reader suggests a place I can go to fulfill my comics
Off The Mark
It’s got all of the comics you’d want, and they’re a bit more
readable than those in my user group newsletter.
Also, for you other Mac user groups out there: If there’s some
important item you would ever like me to highlight, or give my
opinion to make it seem more legit, please send it my way.
Larson of Macworld.com raves, “It reminded me of a time when I was a
Reader Site of the Week
Since my first column, I’ve gotten a lot of e-mail. Sure, some of it
accused me of being Mac the Knife. But there were also Web-site
suggestions in there. Lots of them.
You know, this Internet thing is pretty big! I think it might catch
on after all.
to me, I was a bit concerned by the name. Like the Internet needs
another pornography site.
Now that I’ve visited it, I can tell you that it’s most definitely
porno. I’m really not sure what the hell it is, but
whatever it’s trying to do, it’s using Macromedia’s Flash technology
in a really cool way, and that’s reason enough to pay it a visit. And
if you’re interested in learning more about Flash–a great way to
make crazy animated stuff on the Web–the Dude does provide a wealth
of information via his
I only have one request: Once you’ve become a master of Flash, please
don’t use your great powers for evil. One Mahir Dance site on the Web
is plenty, thank you very much.
now so you too can enjoy animated shorts and video
games you can play at your desk! Until then, happy web browsing to
Brett Larson writes children’s books in his free time. He is the
The Little Engine that Couldn’t, So He Just Gave Up
That’s My Toy, Give It!
Send him your Web-surfing