This brilliant piece of engineering comes, of course, from Hammacher Schlemmer (motto: selling over-priced crap since 1825). To activate it, simply say “answering machine.” For hours of hilarity, be sure to leave a message containing the phrase “answering machine,” thus propelling your expensive toy into a deranged infinite loop. Also, in case you’re wondering, it’s really only funny the first time somebody mistakes it for an Art Deco ashtray.
A warning: it’s tuned to “American” English, so you Brits and Aussies are out of luck (Canadians may be able to sneak by, but I make no promises). The price point is $250, or, roughly five times the cost of the previous most expensive answering machine you were likely to buy.