We may not know much about what it is or what it’s good for, but it is apparently going to have you wishing you hadn’t wasted that $3,000 on your kids’ college fund.
The Macalope is, of course, talking about Apple’s headset, the device that will have its grand unveiling at next month’s World Wide Developers Conference, if literally everyone is to be believed.
“Oculus founder cryptically says Apple headset is ‘so good’ ahead of expected WWDC unveil”
In a cryptic post on Twitter on Sunday night, [Palmer] Luckey simply tweeted: “The Apple headset is so good.”
Did he… eat one?
No, no, it seems he’s talking about the device’s user experience. And if you can’t trust the kind of guy who’d use a name from The Lord of the Rings for his dystopian startup selling drones to the military… well, that’s probably a good instinct, actually.
Still, he’s apparently got some kind of insider knowledge, possibly having talked to someone with more first-hand experience like one of the initial third-party developers Apple is working with.
“Dude, it’s got the new cantooflers.”
“Dude, no way. Next you’re gonna tell me it has hing-hangblers.”
“Dude, it’s got those, too!”
“DUDE, NO WAY!”
Yes, way, my dudes.
Luckey certainly knows a thing or two about AR/VR headsets, having sold Oculus VR to Facebook back in 2014. He has since left the venture so is free to say whatever he wants about competing products and how delicious they are. Facebook took Oculus and, after years of research and hard work, uh, got it to the point where it might someday have legs. Just not yet.
LEGS ARE HARD, OK?
In follow-up comments, [Luckey] said there’s high confidence inside Apple for the headset’s launch.
CONFIDENCE IS HIGH. REPEAT: CONFIDENCE IS HIGH.
Luckey isn’t the only one hyping the much-hyped device. Late last month, a tester said users would be “blown away” by the device. And it appears Apple is ready to go, even if it doesn’t expect to sell all that many initially.
“Apple’s next big thing is reportedly just weeks away from its debut”
Having previously claimed the introduction might be pushed back, Kuo now says that the headset’s announcement “is ‘highly likely’ and the company is ‘well prepared’ for the unveiling.” And, speaking of cantooflers and hing-hangblers, the parts Apple has had to line up include:
Micro OLED display: Sony
Dual processors: TSMC
Casing: Everwin Precision
Camera modules: Cowell
External battery pack: Goretek
So it’s waterproof?!
Oh, sorry, that’s Gore-Tex. The Macalope regrets the deliberate error. As do his readers, no doubt.
At $3,000, maybe it should be waterproof.
Apple expects to sell just one headset per day per retail store…
Will the employees sing a song when they bring it out to you? Like ordering a flaming dessert at a mall-adjacent eatery chain?
Oh, you order up a headset
Tim’s happy that you did
It costs three thousand dollars
Our manager’s name is Syd
That might need some work. Just throwing it out there. I was told there are no bad ideas at this stage.
Given the bevy of components in this device, a high price tag is not that surprising, especially coming from a company that doesn’t shy away from high price tags. If you, like the Macalope, are not planning on magically entering a new tax bracket any time in the near future, take solace in the fact that one a day per store means Apple is making a small number of these. When orders increase, cost per unit will go down.
In the meantime, if you know any Palmer Luckeys out there, make sure to encourage them to buy one. The faster millionaires scoop them up, the faster prices will go down, and the sooner we can get one.