Remains of the Day: Bond. Financial bond.

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Some day, when people ask Apple why it offered up a multi-billion dollar bond, it’ll tell people it was young and needed the money. Of course, if you believe one competitor’s CEO, that’s because Cupertino’s tablet business is going belly up sooner rather than later. And it’s time for the latest edition of “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Sponsored Tweeting!” The remainders for Tuesday, April 30, 2013 have a nasty habit of surviving.

Apple wows market with record $17 billion bond deal (Reuters)

Apple’s making the largest non-bank bond deal in history, putting up $17 billion for sale in order to fuel its ambitious share repurchase plan. To all of us non-financial types, this is the most interesting bond-related story since Skyfall came out.

Apple and Samsung set to battle over damages this November (The Verge)

If that doesn’t sate your appetite for matters financial, you’ll be thrilled to hear that Apple and Samsung are going back … to the court system. Beginning in November, the two companies will once again let the bickering begin, this time over the damages resulting from the previous trial. And, not unlike Alien vs. Predator), whoever wins, we lose.

BlackBerry’s CEO Thinks Tablets Will Be Dead In Five Years (Cult of Mac)

Meanwhile, BlackBerry CEO Thorsten Heins is predicting doom for the iPad and its ilk, saying, “In five years I don’t think there’ll be a reason to have a tablet anymore.” I respectfully disagree: That BlackBerry PlayBook does a great job of leveling my kitchen table.

Original iPhone will soon reach ‘obsolete’ status in Apple Retail Stores

Speaking of kaput technology, the original iPhone is apparently due to be put out to pasture soon. According to an internal Apple memo obtained by 9to5Mac, the iPhone will achieve “obsolete” status in most places as of June 11, 2013. Isn’t that just like Apple? It forces its phones into obsolescence so that you have to buy a new one every six years!

In iOS 7, Apple wants to own your car’s console with Maps and Siri integration (9to5Mac)

Car integration is a big focus of iOS 7, according to 9to5Mac. The blog reports that Apple is planning to include support for auto makers who want to allow iOS devices to access in-car displays; Siri and Maps are mentioned as the major focus. Imagine the features: Maps displayed right on your vehicle’s screen, hands- and eye-free interaction with your iPhone, the ability to have Siri automatically call you a tow truck in advance when you ask for directions … the possibilities are endless!

Samsung celebrity tweets out support for Galaxy S4 from his iPhone (AppleInsider)

Celebrities are once again embarrassing themselves, and their sponsors, by demonstrating their lack of tech savvy. This time it was Spanish tennis star David Ferrer, who tweeted about how much he loved using his new Galaxy S4—unfortunately, he did so from his iPhone. The tweet was quickly deleted, but not before a bunch of blogs snapped it up. Sorry, David—that was a double fault.

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