The Macalope: Bigger is better just because


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Writing for the clown show that is Forbes, Darcy Travlos asks the Betteridge’s Law-challenging question “Apple And Google: The New ‘Old’ Reality?” (No link but tip o’ the antlers to the Jony Ive parody account on Twitter yet again.)

Uh … no?


IDC’s smartphone operating system rankings released last week showed acceleration in the Google Android platform against the Apple iOS platform in terms of smartphone unit shipments.

Ah, good clarification. Some might think it was in terms of the number of bonuses unlocked in Mario Kart.

Oh, the Macalope should also note that Travlos puts two spaces after periods. So, if nothing else, that makes her one of history’s greatest monsters.

Does Apple risk becoming a niche player in the categories it created? Has Apple returned to its “Old” reality?

Apple created the smartphone category? Huh.

A decade ago, Apple had its target set on consumer electronics giant Sony (Walkman) and computer hardware kings IBM and Dell. Apple won those wars. Then it took on the Big Three of Cellphones (Nokia, Ericsson, and Motorola) and won that battle too.

Ah, but how did it “win” that battle? Not by market share, certainly. Apple’s share of smartphone sales has hovered between 15 and 25 percent for four years.

But like the old guard Apple surpassed, did Apple take its eye off left field and dismiss Google as just as search company?

Is the Macalope having a stroke? Again? Isn’t there a third metaphor Travlos could have tried jamming into that sentence? (Guards do not watch left field, except perhaps stadium security guards.)

Yes, of course the very same company that declared thermonuclear war on Android has dismissed Google as “just a search company.” There really is no requirement for arguments to make sense over at Forbes, is there?

Apple’s innovations, as a result, are not keeping up with Google.

And we know this because Apple does its product testing in public like Google does, oh, wait, it doesn’t actually do that at all.

The iPhone 5S leaves many wondering “why bother?” when clearly a chunk of the smartphone market is moving toward (read: demanding, buying) larger screen smartphones.

A chunk. Not a chunk as big as the chunk of iPhones Apple sells but, yes, a chunk.

The Apple watch would be a home run, but if it does not get to market soon, competitors will also whisk away this opportunity by offering connectivity to iPhones thereby negating the need for an Apple-branded product.

The smartwatch market is almost locked up! The Pebble attracted about 70,000 backers to its Kickstarter, so Travlos apparently believes the size of this market is somewhere around 100,000 people.

Google, on the other hand, appears to be everywhere in terms of innovation.

Oh, you mean like all over the place and totally unfocused? Totally agree.

Consumers have shown a propensity to adopt newer, fresher “experiences” because they are more technology savvy then they used to be and are able to adopt new behaviors.

Consumers also really like Apple products.

Specifically, many consumers like bigger screens on their smartphones.

Many do. Many more like iPhones. Seriously, what is it with this obsession?

  1. Apple sells 5 million iPhone 5s in 3 days.
  2. Pundits say “Fail!”
  3. Samsung sells 10 million Galaxy S4s in four weeks.
  4. Pundits say “See, people love big phones!” Apple is doomed for not making one!

Again, people like iPhones. If Apple does make a larger one, people will surely like that, too. But just slapping a larger screen on something doesn’t make it intrinsically better.

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