The Macalope: Nailed it


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It was a humdinger of a keynote on Monday, and while not everyone agrees on the new look of iOS 7, there’s little doubt that Apple showed it’s still got it, and the Macalope isn’t talking about Phil Schiller’s posterior.

There are, of course, many places that we could turn to for predictions that were laughably dire in the lead-up to yesterday, but Forbes never disappoints in its consistent ability to disappoint.

Yes, it was the view of Forbes contributor Clem Chambers that “Apple Needs A Miracle” (no link, of course).

Yes, certainly, the company with ever-increasing sales, sky-high customer satisfaction and the most profit in the industry needed an event that is not explicable by natural or scientific law. Only a burning bush could save Apple!

From what, we’re not exactly sure. Temptation, perhaps? The Temptations? Heck if the Macalope knows. There’s only so far that even this mythical beast wants to peer into Clem Chambers’s mind. His basic thesis, however, is that Apple is the new Microsoft.

Apple is Microsoft.

See? And you thought someone couldn’t make such a laughable claim without bursting into flames.

It may be massive but it is humdrum.

Just like Apple.



The Apple magic is draining away fast and like Microsoft, if the news flow is to be believed, Apple is beginning to sound more and more normal.

See if you can find the problematic part of that supposition, Clem. You might check the subordinate clause.

Chambers wasn’t the only one. Writing for The Street, Rocco Pendola opined: “Apple Losing Control of Its Brand.”

We gave Jobs the credit of a legend when alive, but downplay his impact once he’s gone. As if a different Apple can be the same great Apple Jobs ran.

It can’t be. And, while we probably shouldn’t expect Apple to remain exactly the same under Cook and without Jobs, we should do more to guard the latter’s legacy and protect the company from spiraling towards run of the mill status.

Right. That Mac Pro sure looks run-of-the-mill, doesn’t it? Likewise iOS 7.

Well, the Macalope looks forward to the inevitable Olympic-level logical gymnastics that will take place this week, as pundits show how Monday’s announcements demonstrate that they were right. Some suggestions:

  • Apple’s now stealing its design ideas from Windows Phone and Android. Including for the Mac Pro.
  • Steve Jobs never would have gotten rid of leather. (Which may be true, but isn’t exactly a point in his favor.)
  • Apple’s stock was down on Monday, showing that Wall Street doesn’t like the new iOS 7 icons. And Wall Street is never wrong.

You know who really suffers from lack of innovation? These anti-Apple pundits. They’re far easier to predict than Apple’s designs.

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