If you’ve long been waiting to use the phrase “fart app controversy,” look no further than your Wednesday remainders. Added bonus: Murder, intrigue, and angry paparazzi.
Apple’s App Store Director Sells His Own Fart Apps
We can only hope that Brian X. Chen’s report will inspire numerous episodes of ripped-from-today’s-headlines TV programming this fall. Apparently, Phillip Shoemaker—who oversees the App Store approval process as Apple’s Director of Applications Technology—sells his own apps, most of which are focused on simulating gaseous and other bodily emissions. It might be a conflict of interest, sure, but can the App Store ever really have enough urination-themed software? (Shoemaker, it should be noted, was in the fart-app-making business before taking a job with Apple.)
Foxconn to Hire 400,000 China Workers Within a Year
What recession?! Apple’s go-to factory for iPhone manufacturing needs roughly 7.5 employees for every citizen of Cupertino, Calif. One hopes that Foxconn doesn’t send a company-wide email celebrating each new hire.
People Magazine iPad App Delayed by Paparazzi
Won’t somebody please think of the paparazzi? The celebrity-crazed photographers are keeping the celebrity-crazed masses from buying the iPad edition of People Magazine, unless the pop culture rag agrees to pony up extra scratch. I hope they work it out soon, because I don’t know how else I’m going to get pictures of Angelina Jolie sunbathing onto my iPad.
Suspect in Cherry Creek iPad theft charged with asking for hit on victim
Remember the story about the Dever man who ended up losing his pinky when a thief yanked away the bag holding his just-purchased iPad? The suspect in that robbery has now been charged with attempting to arrange the alleged victim’s murder. The lost pinky was fodder for jokes about Apple charging more than an arm and a leg for its products; we’ll pass completely on any opportunities for jokes about the company making you pay… with your life.