What is it with Apple engineers and bars? Is the company going to have to go dry to stem the tide of iPhones lost by employees under the influence?
Yes, another iPhone prototype
may have gone missing, this time at a San Francisco tequila bar. Wow, the Macalope hopes it’s not that same guy again. That is not going to look good on his annual review.
“I see here you coded an efficient networking stack for iOS! That’s terrific. Aaaand you lost another iPhone prototype. That’s not so great.”
Surely, this is a sign that Tim Cook has already lost control of Apple. Or maybe it’s a sign of the arrogance and cutthroat business practices of Steve Jobs. Or possibly both. Whatever the case, it’s certainly an ill portent of imminent doom for Apple; the Macalope, as your personal financial advisor, suggests you dump the stock immediately. He doesn’t mean sell it, he means dump it. Like in a river somewhere.
So far there’s no sign of this iPhone in any of the online tabloids, so if someone’s trying to sell it then they’re being more careful than last year’s collection of goofballs. Said goofballs
were in court the other day and pled not guilty to misdemeanor theft charges.
This got the Macalope thinking. Trying to hock it to someone who was going to make a big splash about it was a rookie mistake. So, who would you sell it to who might pay handsomely and wouldn’t talk?
Well, if the Macalope were trying to move a hot iPhone 5, he’d probably start with Samsung. It’s already churning out copies of Apple products as fast as it can—this would just make its job a lot easier.
On the other hand, Samsung’s already doing such a bang-up job of duplicating whatever it is Apple releases, does the company even need a prototype?
Turning now to missing Apple property of less importance, it seems
a man was recently given a hard drive full of an Apple Store’s data by accident. Having apparently not heard about last year’s debacle, the man tried to sell the data to Cult of Mac, which prudently said “No! We shall not engage in such chicanery! Good day to you, sir! … But thank you for sending the screenshots, which we’ll happily publish.”
Of course, this guy was actually given the hard drive, even if accidentally, as a replacement drive for a unit in for repair. So, this might not even be illegal, exactly.
But where was he given the hard drive?
That’s right. At a Genius Bar.
They don’t serve alcohol, but are you seeing the connection here?
(It’s horizontal wood.)
[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the
Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]