MACALOPE: February, huh? You’re really sticking with that date?
WINOTAUR: Why not?
MACALOPE: Well, it just seems a little soon for a major, game-changing update like Windows 8. Isn’t there a lot to do?
WINOTAUR: I don’t think so. I think they’re pretty much just slapping Metro on Windows 7.
MACALOPE: Oh, come on. It’s more than that.
MACALOPE: The funny thing is, at the same time it seems too soon for a big release, doesn’t it also seems too late for a tablet OS?
WINOTAUR: What? No! Look, this might be hard for you to get through that moulded plastic head of yours, but we’re the ones thinking different.
MACALOPE: Different means late?
WINOTAUR: No, different means different. Come on. You know what I’m talking about. Metro isn’t like iOS or that other operating system that we make a mess of money off of.
MACALOPE: You know, it’s really annoying when you play dumb and then start making a good point about three quarters of the way through one of these conversations. But, yes, you know the Macalope’s, ugh, admired what you’ve done with Windows Phone 7.
MACALOPE: Except for the name, of course. Even “Android’ is better than that.
WINOTAUR: Which, by the way, you’re not doing us any favors by trying to kill. We make a lot of scratch off them.
MACALOPE: Yeah, it’s called triangulation. Look it up. Oh, wait, you already know what it means because it’s also what you’re doing to us.
WINOTAUR: Hey, you can’t fault us for trying. Besides, how’s a girl supposed to buy herself some shoes?
MACALOPE: Really do not want to know what that’s supposed to mean. Anyway, it just seems like you’re getting your hopes really high on having such a great year. And the Macalope just wouldn’t want to see you get hurt ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
WINOTAUR: Yeah, I’m really feelin’ that.
MACALOPE: Oh, man! Just no way to say that with a straight face!
Sometimes the Macalope’s really not sure why we keep meeting for coffee.
[Editors’ Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week’s coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]