Microsoft has reached into its bag of tricks to try to pull the rug out from under the iPad’s incursion into its enterprise turf. The Winotaur fills us in on the details.
WINOTAUR: Hey, glad I bumped into you.
MACALOPE: What? You called me and asked me to meet you here.
WINOTAUR: Oh. Well, whatever. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.
MACALOPE: Uh… OK. Thanks.
MACALOPE: UGH. Fine. Sorry for what?
WINOTAUR: Oh, sorry for taking you to school. Business school.
MACALOPE: Is there any chance you’re going to get to the point some time soon?
WINOTAUR: Well, you know. About locking iPads out of the enterprise market. Sorry about that. It’s just business, you know?
MACALOPE: Uh-huh. And how, exactly, did you do this?
WINOTAUR: Through the magic of licensing! SNAP!
MACALOPE: Well, using licensing instead of just making a better product does sound like you.
WINOTAUR: You got that right. And when enterprises find
it’ll be cheaper for them to implement Windows RT tablets, it’ll be adios, iPad. Sayonara iOS. Auf Wiedersehen, uh, Smart Cover.
MACALOPE: Sure. So, what are the details of this cunning tri-lingual maneuver?
WINOTAUR: Oh, just that users who want to remote in to a Windows desktop from an iPad will have to pay while Windows RT tablet owners will get to do so for free. BOO-YAH!
MACALOPE: That is passive-aggressive-riffic.
WINOTAUR: Yeah! I’d like to see you selling some iPads in the enterprise now!
MACALOPE: Well, you mean when Windows 8 comes out.
WINOTAUR: Uh… right. But, still, who’s going to want to invest in iPads when they know Windows RT is the way to go?
MACALOPE: Um, people who don’t care about remotely accessing a Windows desktop from a tablet?
WINOTAUR: Oh, come on. Who doesn’t want to do that?
MACALOPE: You really have no idea how enterprises really use iPads, do you? Actually, that explains a lot.
WINOTAUR: What, playing Plants vs. Zombies? Look, users want the full experience that only Windows can provide.
MACALOPE: Uh, which is why they’ve bought so many iPads? Ohhh, the Macalope gets it now! You’re in the denial stage!
WINOTAUR: No, I’m not.
MACALOPE: Denying you’re in the denial stage is a classic symptom of being in the denial stage.
WINOTAUR: I… have to go now.
MACALOPE: Have a nice day!
[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the
Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]