Exaggeration. It is a literal fact that the world would simply stop spinning without it, flinging us all off the planet and into space.
Hence, Business Insider overuse of it is simply part of the natural order of things.
”Apple has all but admitted it screwed up the Apple Watch launch” (tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody)
“All but,” which is another way of saying “not at all.”
A new video message in which Apple retail chief Angela Ahrendts acknowledges that retail employees are being “bombarded with questions” about the Apple Watch’s availability is yet another sign of acknowledgement from the tech giant that the launch did not go as planned.
Because questions are being asked, that must mean something’s wrong. Because otherwise there would be no questions. Questions are bad, you see. They mean that people are interested and… wait, let me start over.
Though Apple Watch sales have been strong…
Though Apple has sold a crapton of Watches, they screwed up the launch. This is a thing you can write and not be eaten by angry badgers of logic. For we do not live in a just and righteous universe. It’s sad, but there it is.
…there has been widespread confusion over availability.
Oh, there’s “widespread confusion” over availability? Here, let the Macalope clear that up: It’s not available until June. There. Glad we settled that. Please feel free to call any time.
…Apple tried an entirely new model for the Apple Watch.
This time, it opted for a preorder system…
Ah, so a system that it has employed many times before. What’s a sound one could make that’s somewhere between a dismissive “OK” and “no”?
Yeah, sure, that’ll do. It’s Business Insider. It’s not like the Macalope’s gonna knock himself out for this.
But it hasn’t been smooth sailing.
If it’s anything but smooth sailing you know they screwed up and are all but admitting it.
As expected, the device sold out almost immediately online on April 10.
Oh my God, could this get any worse for Apple?
In the new video from Ahrendts, the former Burberry CEO conceded that retail employees were “being bombarded with questions.” This is a clear acknowledgement that many customers still have no idea what is going on.
Well, uh, no because life is not binary. You could have a pretty good idea what’s going on and still need clarification on finer points aaaand the Macalope is trying to argue logic with Business Insider again. Which reminds him, did you know that the adjectival form of the word used to describe a never-ending task is Sisyphean, not Sisyphusean even though the character from mythology’s full name is Edward J. Sisyphupalus? It’s true. Except for that last part. All true.
…for Angela Ahrendts, who was brought on to “revitalise” Apple’s retail experience, it’s an embarrassing misstep.
The Macalope has seen a bunch of finger-pointing at Ahrendts but the basic problem here that’s driving these issues seems to be supply not keeping up with demand. That’s hardly Ahrendts’s fault. It’s also not exactly the worst problem to have.