Looking at the calendar on the wall, the Macalope sees it’s December and if you’ve paid attention all these years you know that it’s time once again for the inevitable reports that Apple is cutting iPhone orders.
This is the moment the Macalope trains for every year. He hydrates. He lifts. He does squat lunges.
So many squat lunges.
He’s not really sure why he does squat lunges. They have literally nothing to do with writing about Apple’s iPhone pipeline. The hydration, sure. But squat lunges? Makes no sense.
Anyway, let’s do this! Time to start the annual loose rumor-based speculation! It’s tradition!
Here we go!
“JPMorgan raises iPhone sales estimates.”
What the what.
What is this, some kind of war on our collective cultural tradition of near-Christmas iPhone doom rumors? This is not how the Macalope was raised!
That estimate is focused on next year’s phones. And, indeed, as Apple is rumored to be introducing a new 8-sized phone in the first half of the year and then four new phones in the fall featuring 5G, you can see how 2020 might be a big year. After sticking with his iPhone SE for three and a half years, Apple might stick the Macalope for two phones in 2020. He has to buy the 8-sized phone when it comes out, his beloved SE is really starting to show its age. But then if the company introduces a 5.4-inch phone in the fall, that might be the phone he really wants but can’t bank on being delivered.
[shakes curled hoof angrily in the direction of Cupertino]
Tired: Day phone/night phone.
Wired: Spring phone/fall phone.
But so far we haven’t seen rumors of production cuts on the iPhone 11 line, even though production cuts are perfectly normal since the company has to ramp up for release (phrasing). Last year at this time, we were already two weeks into the holiday doom season. So far, all we’ve heard about is how well the iPhone 11 Pro is doing. What’s gone wrong with the world?
Well, surely some other Apple products are tanking. Let’s just check around and see…
“AirPods Pro Demand is So Strong That Apple is Reportedly Doubling Production.”
The Macalope got swole for this?!
OK. OK. Well… it’s early December. Let’s not be too hasty. There’s plenty of time for Christmas doom to make an appearance.
As long as we believe.
In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.