Cancel culture has gone too far this time. In an unexpected turn of events, MacBooks are canceled until further notice.
Writing at the Forbes contributor network and the Center for the Advancement of Performative Outrage, Brooke Crothers says, “Apple Just Killed The MacBook As We Know It: ‘Don’t Buy A Mac’ Is Good Advice — MacBook Pro, MacBook Air On Hold.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Shawn King.)
The Macalope wants you to just marvel for a moment at that headline. It says the same thing three different ways, all designed to scare you about nonsense. It’s a triple cone of blazzlefrozzle with exaggeration sprinkles.
And in case that wasn’t hyperbolic enough, the lede says it a fourth time:
This week Apple killed the MacBook until further notice.
So, what white-hot nonsense is this?
Apple couched it as a “transition” away from Intel but the net effect is the same: any Intel-based MacBook Pro or MacBook Air you buy from here on out is ultimately dead in the water.
The Macalope has news for you: any laptop you will buy or have ever bought will ultimately be dead in the water. And not just because you shouldn’t put laptops in water.
I would offer this as a rough analogy: would you buy a Windows phone? Yeah, it’ll work and run some apps but it’s a dead platform…
As far as rough analogies go, that one will tear a hole in your colon you could drive a truck through. Microsoft ceased active development on Windows 10 Mobile three years ago and the platform was declared end of life at the beginning of 2020. Apple is still developing Intel-based Macs and they will be supported for years.
Crothers quotes PCWorld’s Gordon Mah Ung who says “…even if Apple doesn’t dump Intel-based Macs overboard as quickly as it did PowerPC Macs—optimizations won’t flow as fast since it will be a legacy platform.”
Is this something you should consider? Of course. But, guess what, news flash, breaking: There’s always going to be something faster later. And another just as valid consideration is how long it will take developers to even take advantage of the new processors. If you average it out, you are just as likely to get better performance out of a new Intel Mac over the next few years as you are using your busted-up older one until the Arm unit you want appears.
I could be wrong. But, then again, I could be right.
Those… would be the two options, yes.
That doubt alone kills the deal.
Everyone knows that if there’s ever any doubt, you don’t do anything. This is the way. Only make decisions when all things are known.
In reality, it’s a little more nuanced than that. Apple has said the first Arm-based Macs will ship late this year and Ming-Chi Kuo thinks the first will be the MacBook Pro. Adults can make their own decisions based on this information. There are no absolutes.
In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.