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Thank goodness for a steady supply of sweet, crunchy alfalfa because it’s slim pickings this week for the Macalope. With Samsung’s bad quarterly results, the rise in Apple’s share price over the last few months and all the attention on iPhone 6 rumors, it’s hard for a mythical creature to find something to sink his teeth into.

Sure, he could look at the pronouncements that the larger of the upcoming iPhones (that we totally know for sure are coming) is “delayed” because Apple blah blah sapphire wacka wacka supply chain doing doing bonk.

Fortunately, we can always count on The Register to turn the shrill up to 11. Or 12. Or infinity.

“END your Macbook SHAME: Convert it into a Microsoft SURFACE” (no link because the Macalope does not reward shenanigans and this is almost 100 percent shenanigan or shenanigan extract)

Awwww, yeah. That’s good eatin’. Well, it’s rich, anyway. Kind of nauseating, actually. Ugh, hang on, the Macalope thinks he might barf.

So, what’s all this about? Not much, really.

So you’ve spent well over a grand on a new Macbook Pro. How do you fancy spending even more than that amount, all over again, to mod your laptop so it resembles a, er, Microsoft Surface?

Er, not at all?

Judging by the the cult-like Apple worship practised by covens of fanbois and gurlz…

Who had them dropping the “Apple is a religion” bomb in the third sentence in the pool? Congratulations, you’ve won reading the rest of this campy piece.

…we’d reckon that few people would take up the offer of turning their Macbook into an Apple-soft mutant.

You’d reckon right.

Turns out all The Register’s Jasper Hamill is on about is a Kickstarter campaign to create a modded MacBook Pro with a touch screen. These kinds of things have been around for a long time, but any excuse to poke Apple fans with a stick is good one.

You can almost imagine them thinking of buyers with more money than sense. “I mean, really, what does Jony Ive or his team know anyway?” they might ask.

Well, for starters they’d know that this thing hardly looks like the Surface in any way. But it does have a touch screen and a stylus. By the way, “stylus” is a pretty big misnomer, isn’t it? More like “lack of style-us”, amirite?

Yeah, OK, that was lame. But that’s pretty much perfect for this piece.

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