Fumble: The Galaxy Note fails to blow up the iPhone 7

Samsung didn't quite get to take advantage of the "dull iPhone 7."


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The Macalope is sure there’s a football analogy for the Galaxy Note 7 situation here somewhere. Maybe something about trying an onside kick, fumbling the snap (which you shouldn’t have been doing in the first place because it’s an onside kick), recovering the ball but running to the wrong end zone and then being tackled for a safety and losing the game 44-0. But heck if the Macalope can figure it out.

(It’s pretty much exactly that.)

“Rush to Take Advantage of a Dull iPhone Started Samsung’s Battery Crisis.” (Tip o’ the antlers to @realworldrj.)

A dull iPhone you say, Bloomberg? Did that actually happen?

Few things motivate Samsung employees like the opportunity to take advantage of weakness at Apple Inc.

Oh? How’d that work out?

[clown horn]

Earlier this year, managers at the South Korean company began hearing the next iPhone wouldn’t have any eye-popping innovations.

This is the price you pay for believing what you read on the Forbes contributor network. Justice has been appropriately served, hot and sassy.

So the top brass at Samsung Electronics Co., including phone chief D.J. Koh, decided to accelerate the launch of a new phone they were confident would dazzle consumers and capitalize on the opportunity…

With an executive leadership that approved this ad, you can rest assured everything would be smoooooth sailing.

[Insert YouTube video of most hilarious pratfalls of 2016.]

The Note 7 would have a high-resolution screen that wraps around the edges, iris-recognition security and a more powerful, faster-charging battery. Apple’s taunts that Samsung was a copycat would be silenced for good.

Uh, it would take a lot more than that. One phone does not undo eight years.

Then it all backfired. Just days after Samsung introduced the Note 7 in August, reports surfaced online that the phone’s batteries were bursting into flame. … What was supposed to be triumph had turned into a fiasco.

Maybe spend a little more time doing your own thing and a little less reacting to Apple. Of course, that may be hard if your “own thing” is copying Apple.

When Samsung became aware that Apple didn’t plan any major design changes, the Korean executives saw an opportunity.

The iPhone 7 has roughly the same body shape as the iPhone 6S. That doesn’t mean it isn’t still a significant step forward in design.

Well, take heart, Samsung. The iPhone 7 isn’t perfect. Did you hear it has no headphone jack? It’s true! Hard to believe, right? But some units may make a whining noise when taxed and there appear to be issues with the Lightning headphones cutting out.

But, yeah, it doesn’t explode. So… you should probably work on that.

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