Crazy for 8s: The forgotten iPhone of 2017


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The Macalope is fascinated by the collective madness that has seized technology coverage in 2017. It might be understandable that people mostly want to talk about the iPhone 8, since it’ll be the high-end model. What is really weird, however, is how many refuse to even mention the iPhone 7s.

Writing for Computerworld, John Brandon explains “Why the iPhone 8 probably won’t be worth the $999 price tag.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Alan Grassia.)

Which you probably already assumed, right? Since we already know everything there is to know about it and whatnot.


How much are we really willing to shell out for an iPhone?

Is this the royal “we”? Because the Queen can probably afford a really good phone.

That’s the loyalty test Apple is expected to deliver during the iPhone 8 product launch on Sept. 12.

No. It’s not. There is no “loyalty test”. Apple is shipping a high-end product. You can buy it or you can buy an iPhone 7s, which will also be announced at the event, or you can buy nothing. And whichever one of those you choose, you can still buy Apple products later.

Like so many of his peers, Brandon does not even mention the iPhone 7s. If you were to read just this article, you would think that Apple will announce one new iPhone this year and it will start at $999.

It had better make waffles. And talk to the dead. Or offer a warm towel in the morning.

A $999 price tag is only befitting a magical device! $939 is fine for a Samsung Galaxy Note 8 and $969 is fine for a top-of-the-line iPhone 7 Plus but, whew, when you’re asked to pay $30 more than that… get outta town. Crazytown. On the corner of Smoking Fez Monkey Blvd. and Bananapants Ave.

Worse, we already have smartphones.

If you’re perfectly happy with your current smartphone, then it shouldn’t matter how much it is. Don’t buy things you don’t need or want, no matter how cheap they are.

Unless you’re writing a review.

The new iPhone 8 might make movies pop on the screen and might make photos look a bit more colorful, but will it be enough?

I doubt it.

It’s not supposed to sell in huge volumes. It’s a premium phone at a premium price meant to attract those who are willing to spend more to get more. If that’s not you, that’s OK. Do Honda people walk around being angry all day that Acuras exist?

The decision point will be — is this new feature really worth this new price?

How many times can you ask the same question in an article and still get paid to write it? Let’s find out.

Historically, we still shell out the big bucks. Apple says jump, and we jump.

As a recent report noted, however, iPhone sales finally started to dip last year.

People just mindlessly buy the most expensive thing Apple makes! Except when they don’t.

In fairness to Brandon… well, “fairness” is probably the wrong word. “Sympathy” might be better. In sympathy to Brandon, pretty much all his articles, no matter which company’s products he’s talking about, appear to be negative. So, A+ for consistency.

Despite the deliberately obtuse pontifications of our pundit class, no one is obligated to buy an iPhone 8. And, yes, you will still be able to get a new iPhone this year without shelling out $999.

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