Pushing our panic buttons: Apple’s dramatically short stock fall

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Apple’s stock has taken a beating of late and it’s cause for real concern.

On Earth 4679/Z. The Earth where soup is sentient. On this Earth it’s just down slightly. But you wouldn’t know it by the headlines.

Writing for CNBC, Rebecca Ungarino says “Economist lays out a ‘concerning’ trend for Apple stock.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Philip Speicher.)

Apple has gone from hot to not.

Where are the swipe rights of yesteryear? Gone. Forever gone. Washed away by a torrent of swipe lefts.

The analogy between the stock market and Tinder is probably a little too close to the mark.

After leading the market this year, the stock has fallen nearly 1 percent since it unveiled its next generation of iPhones…

1 percent. Rush to the manufactured panic machine. Oh, we are there already. How handy it is to have it so close at all times.

“…the reception for the iPhone 8 and the iOS 11…

Actually, it’s called “the operating system formerly known as ‘the iOS 11’” now.

…the operating system, looks less than exciting. And the delays on the iPhone X, the new phone, look major.

There is no delay on the iPhone X. Supplies will likely be severely constrained, but there’s no delay.

“So we’re worried…”

We’re just really worried. Are we saving enough for retirement? Is our son Discus getting along at school? Is our daughter Maudelin’s affected limp going to stick? Are incidents of bubonic plague in the southwest on the rise? What are porgs? So many things to worry about.

“…that some of the best-laid plans here are not really going to come to pass,” Max Wolff, chief economist at Disruptive Technology Advisers, said Tuesday on CNBC’s “Trading Nation.”

“Disruptive Technology Advisers” sounds like consultants you hire to look at your network and instead they just barge into meetings and ask unrelated questions and talk on the phone loudly in your open workspaces. Yelp review: “These technology advisors were extremely disruptive! They hummed incessantly and microwaved fish in the break room! They asked people ‘How’s it hangin’?’ They did actually fix our network but only by accident when they bumped into the router during a drunken fist-fight with one of our system administrators. WOULD NOT RECOMMEND.”

Sure, “disruptive” is supposed to modify “technology” rather than “advisors” but it’s hard to tell when it’s a firm you’ve never heard of. Guess what, though! Through the miracle of Apple doomsaying, now you have.

“What we’re starting to see is people interested in buying the [iPhone] 7 instead of the 8 because it’s pretty similar and it’s even cheaper, and there are some problem [sic] with the operating system,” he said of the latest phone model.

The article does not say what the problems are. Nor does it note that the evidence of people choosing the iPhone 7 over the 8 comes from a survey with “no concrete sales numbers to support it, and the data only included responses from wireless carriers.”

The iPhone 8 does start at $50 more than the iPhone 7 started at last year. But, this isn’t some hilarious mixup at Apple marketing. “Your fives look like nines, Phil!” This is more likely a way to push people into considering the iPhone X.

AAPL closed at about 161 on the day of the iPhone 8/X event. In the weeks following, it fell to as low as 150 but has since rebounded to 160. Oh, also:

Shares of Apple have gained more than 39 percent this year, and rose modestly in Tuesday trading.

Definitely time to panic.

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