All the X-tras: The iPhone X doesn’t have everything

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It is unbelievable that in this day and age we should be expected to purchase a thing and then have to purchase other things to get more features for said thing. What has this world come to?

Writing for Quartz, Mike Murphy complains “To charge your iPhone X as quickly as possible, you need to spend another $94.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Philip Speicher.)

No one tell Murphy about in-app purchases.

It’s as if $1,000 wasn’t enough to begin with.

SER-iously. What is the deal with setting prices and letting people make their own decisions about whether or not to pay them?! Like we’re adults or something. NOT TODAY, SATAN. I will pay, but I will pretend I had no choice!

GOOD DAY TO YOU, SATAN. I SAID “GOOD DAY”!

Apple’s latest smartphone, the iPhone X, has drawn criticism for costing as much as a 1996 Honda Accord…

Drawn criticism from who or whom, you may wonder, depending on your familiarity with the proper use of the English language. Why, from Mike Murphy! Yes, that link is to a piece Murphy wrote in which he complains about the price of a smartphone he chose to buy. Why it’s supposed to be significant that it costs about as much as a 20-year-old car, the Macalope will never know. But congratulations to Murphy for unlocking the secret pundit power move which is the self-referential link of proof.

(Another secret pundit power move is making a joke to get around figuring out whether “who” or “whom” is correct in a particular sentence!)

The point is, the iPhone X-spensive (pronounced “tenspensive”) is very expensive and still does not come with literally everything!

As Gizmodo points out in its great investigation into all of the various charging cables and plugs Apple offers, to actually get the quickest charging, you need to buy a 61-Watt adapter plug and a USB-C to Lightning cable.

And, to protect your phone, you have to buy a case! To listen to music wirelessly, you have to buy Bluetooth headphones! To look at it while eating a ham sandwich, you have to buy the ham sandwich! That’s right, a lot of people don’t know this, but there’s no ham sandwich in the box! Outrageous!

Apple wasn’t immediately available to explain the rationale behind not including these cables and plugs with its phones.

Very surprising they didn’t jump on the opportunity to respond to that. Shocking, really.

As Murphy points out, you don’t need to pay Apple’s prices to get fast charging. Other vendors make cheaper solutions.

You could use that money to buy yourself a case for your new phone, considering that replacing the glass back on the iPhone X can set you back up to $549.

The “iPhone X is expensive!” complaints will continue despite the phone selling extremely well. It occurs to the Macalope that in a market-based society, the real way to complain about something being too expensive is to not buy it. But the passive-aggressive whining about it lets you have your cake and complain about it, too.

  
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