Swing and a miss: The iPhone killing didn’t happen


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The Macalope knows that these days life comes at you fast, as exhibited by the popular Twitter meme “Life comes at you fast.” For example, what if the Macalope were to tell you that it was only last week that the G4 Mac Cube came out?

That’s not true, of course, but it is a joke used to demonstrate the horny one’s point. And isn’t that almost like it’s true?

No, it is not.

Point is, though, with all that’s happened in 2017, it’s hard to think all the way back to May of this year when pundits were collectively losing their stuff over the Essential Phone… before it was even announced. Yes, Apple (not Google or Samsung or any other smartphone manufacturer) was told to “beware” because the Essential Phone would have an edge-to-edge screen and an accessory that no one knew anything about.

The Macalope is known for flights of fancy so you might be excused in thinking he’s just funin’ ya or, even more deliciously, Funyunin’ ya. But go back and read that piece, that’s exactly what they were saying.

Of course, when the device was announced, pundits were very staid about it and calmly explained that it might be interesting but we would have to get our hands on one to see and there were certain market dynamics that made it hard for a small firm such as Essential to make a dent in the market, even one run by Andy Rubin…

iPhone killer is here

Oh. No. Many of them did not do that.

Some were slightly more coy.

It’s got everything to kill the iPhone, but will it? Probably not.

Probably not. Maybe it will. But probably not.

Plenty of the coverage was gushing with superlatives such as “incredibly audacious,” “ambitious” and “unique.” Rubin was hailed as a force to be reckoned with and excuses were made when the phone was delayed. But it finally got released and now it’s presumably doing amazingly well since we know that it was super awesome and…

Only around 50,000 units of the Essential Phone have been sold, according to its camera app’s install figures from the Play Store

Uhhh… the Macalope just did the math and that’s about as many iPhones as Apple sells in two hours.

Well, see, it was probably the Essential Phone 2 that was going to kill the iPhone. Just wait ’til next year.

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