Magic tricks: The appearing competitor trick


Trust the Macalope when he says that today he brings you a trick that will amaze you! By the end of this column, you will question the very fabric of reality!

Writing for TechCrunch, John Biggs is here to tell us how well the Apple Watch is doing. So well, in fact, that it’s destroying the Swiss watch industry.

(Let’s hold off on the headline for a bit because the headline is more of a punchline.)

In Q4 2017 – essentially during the last holiday season – market research firm Canalys found that more people bought Apple watches than Swiss watches.

Wow, you mean that the Swiss smartwatch you could “upgrade” later to a mechanical watch for just $1,500 and the $25,000 mechanical watch that looks like an Apple Watch didn’t secure the industry’s position? Very strange.

This switch does not mean Apple will maintain that lead – they have one product while Switzerland has thousands – but comparing a single company’s output to an entire industry’s in this case is telling.

Yes! Indeed! Just one company! Apple. Just the one, right? Nobody else? Yes, it’s actually true, the Apple Watch alone bested the entire Swiss watch industry. Quite a feat for a device that was roundly declared a “flop.”

The article is very clearly about Apple and Apple alone. Just remember that part. No reason. It’s not like it’s going to come up later. Nnnope. Why are you asking that? Just let it drop, Gary. Jeez.

But, since you did ask, yes, Gary, Apple’s name appears extensively throughout the piece. In fact, other than Canalys, the firm that published the results, it’s the only name brand that appears in the article. There’s even a chart that compares Apple Watch shipments for the past two years to Swiss watch shipments. Apple, Apple, Apple.

Oh, hey, you know what name is not mentioned in the piece anywhere? Android Wear. Android Wear is mentioned zero (0) times. None. That is to say, not at all. So, in that regard, the piece is kind of just like reality. Android Wear is nowhere.

But, hey, kids? Do you believe in magic? Because whoever writes TechCrunch’s headlines does!


“Apple and Android are destroying the Swiss Watch industry.”

Wwwwwwwwwwow! That was amazing! Someone call Penn and Teller! How did they do it?! Was it a trap door? Mirrors? From out of nowhere Android Wear, which is not in the article or the press release from Canalys suddenly appears for no reason in the headline. Incredible. And at no time did the headline writer’s hands leave their wrists.

OK, so you’re probably not questioning the very fabric of reality. That was probably a stretch. Still, not as much of a stretch as jamming Android into a piece that is completely about Apple.

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