The unmerry-go-round: Repeating Apple rumors

You'll never guess which Apple rumor is back.

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As we approach the end of the second quarter of 2018, it’s nice to look back at all that nonsense about iPhone order cuts from the first quarter and be glad that’s all in the rear-view mirror.

Yes, looks like it’s time for The Macalope to lean back and take a looong drink of water as he opens up his browser to read the headlines of the day…

“Apple, Suppliers Drop After Report of Cut in iPhone Orders.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Philip and Alex.)

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.

Well, looks like it’s time for The Macalope to wade into the ocean from whence he came and never be seen again. Again.

Apple Inc. shares and suppliers declined after a Japanese newspaper report that the technology giant has warned suppliers of a drop of around 20 percent in new iPhone component orders.

The Macalope hates summer repeats.

Nikkei said Apple told the suppliers that the parts were for iPhones debuting in the second half and would be down from 2017 levels.

We saw this episode. iPhone orders were down, Bobby picked up an ancient Tiki idol and Joey got his head stuck in a turkey.

Or maybe it was just the first part. In February it was Nikkei that reported Apple was halving orders for iPhone X parts, and now it’s back again four months later to pull the other one, lest one of your legs go un-pulled.

The newspaper cited people in the industry it didn’t identify.

You don’t say. I mean… you actually aren’t saying.

The market, of course, is having none of this and is rejecting these reports out of hand after hahahaha no, shares are down on the “news” that is not new or news, albeit just slightly.

Because there are signs that analysts actually might be learning.

“We believe the bark is worse than the bite as we saw last quarter with erroneous reads out of the Asia supply chain,” GBH Insights analyst Daniel Ives said. “We believe the upgrade opportunity is massive for Apple over the next 6 to 9 months and we view this report as noise.”

That noise you hear may be The Macalope screaming into the void but, yes, there certainly is a noise. Apple has never posted a decline in iPhone shipments for the second half of any year, so a 20 percent slide would be a whopper and doesn’t square with rumors of the company shipping three new iPhone X-style phones, ranging from “more affordable” to “ZOMG SO BIG THE PHONE”.

You may say, “Oh, but Mr. Macalope, you can’t take rumors seriously.” That is true, which is why you should not take the rumor of a 20 percent decline in iPhone part orders seriously. But as long as we’re playing a rumors-based card game, he can play whatever rumor cards he’s got in his hand.

Many chalk this up to market manipulation. The Macalope doesn’t know if that’s the case or if it’s just sheer stupidity, he just knows it’s not worth anyone’s serious attention.

  
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