Industry-leading failure: iPhones don’t have every feature

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Apple is rumored to be adding a new feature to certain iPhones this fall which is just another sign of how much of a failure the iPhone is.

Writing for the Forbes contributor network and GIF warehouse where all the GIFs are of an old man getting punched in the crotch by a monkey, Ewan Spence says the “New iPhone X Leaks Reveal Apple’s Competitive Failure To Match Android.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Tibor, Zach, Daniel and Alex.)

You will not be surprised to learn that this article leans heavily on the two-legged stool of market share. Apple has, of course, walked away with the lion’s share of profits in the smartphone industry, as well as the shares of the cheetah, the jaguar, the puma and even that of The Pumaman, which is a very small share but The Macalope includes it for completeness.

As reported by Forbes’ Gordon Kelly…

FORBES CONTRIBUTOR NETWORK POSS-AAYYYYYY!

…Apple is looking to introduce dual-SIM technology to the iPhone family this year.

Now, let us discuss what an abject failure this is.

The technology, widely available on high- and mid-range Android handsets, will finally debut in the iPhone X Plus…

So, dual SIM technology is a somewhat popular feature in a number of markets, used by people with two lines or who frequently cross borders, but Apple isn’t alone in not offering it.

“No dual SIM capabilities on Google Pixel 2.”

Apple has also never offered a projector phone or a phone with a physical keyboard. There really is no end to the number of Android innovations Apple is behind on.

Dual-SIM technology has proven to be a competitive advantage in a number of territories around the world…

Not only is it a feature that some people need and like, it is a competitive advantage. Next headline at Forbes, “Lacking the ability to breath air, fish are a total failure as a species.”

Not everyone needs dual-SIM…

By which we mean that most people do not need dual SIM.

A dual-SIM iPhone will be welcomed by many, but once more Apple’s weakness in design and lack of competitiveness has been exposed.

Apple made the phone that the largest number of people needed. Then it added more features as it went. Like a loser.

A feature that has become common on Android is only now making its way to the iOS platform.

Are you saying that Apple is only now adding a feature that has been previously present on certain but not all Android phones?! This truly is shocking. Next you’ll tell us that iPhones don’t have a pop-out selfie camera.

(Doink!)

What it won’t do is stop the falling market share of the iOS platform…

“iPhone’s Market Share Grew Slightly Last Quarter Despite a Few Weeks of Galaxy S9 Availability.”

…the lack of genuinely new ideas from Tim Cook and his team…

Android OEMs are supposedly lightyears ahead of Apple but for some reason still slavishly follow Apple’s lead. It’s so weird.

…or questions about the longevity of the iPhone hardware.

Certainly not! The Macalope looks forward to Forbes’s breathless reporting of production cuts on phones Apple isn’t even selling yet soon!

  
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