Same time next year: Samsung’s annual winning

It happens every year like clockwork.

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If there’s an Apple event next week then it must be that time of year again, the time of year when we hear how badly Samsung is going to kill the upcoming iPhones.

Writing for the Forbes contributor network and used monkeyshines and shenanigans outlet, Ewan Spence says “Samsung’s Powerful Galaxy S10 Will Defeat Apple’s Shiny New iPhones.” (Tip o’ the antlers to SamT.)

The Macalope is so old he still uses that joke where he says he’s so old he remembers something that happened not that long ago, in this case less than a year ago. There’s no way that joke construction is funny anymore. He’s been using it for maybe eight years. Probably time to retire it. Anyway, that something is when pundits said the Galaxy S9 was big trouble for Apple.

Oh, and look at this. Turns out pundits also predicted the Galaxy S8 would beat the iPhone. Very surprising. Who could have predicted that if you went back and looked, pundits have been predicting that Samsung devices would “beat” iPhones every year for many, many years? Other than people who lived through those years and have not suffered life-altering brain injuries, The Macalope means.

Well, OK. At least no one predicted that the Galaxy Note 7 would beat the iPhone when it exploded onto the market (see what the Macalope did there?) in 2016.

[beat]

[beat]

Oh, no, wait, they totally did, suggesting it was “miles ahead of the iPhone” and not because that’s how far authorities had to drive it in order to safely detonate it in a rural location.

Any-hoo, it didn’t happen all those other times but… this year for sure the Samsung phone will “beat” the iPhone. Three is the number of reasons why and the number of reasons why is three.

The first is, curiously, reliability.

That is curious! Considering the aforementioned asplodyphone.

Although Samsung has had one rather high-profile smartphone failure in recent memory…

A hardware failure caused by rushing their production process in reaction to the iPhone 7 and that was so bad it forced a recall.

…it took visible action both immediately, during the investigations, and when reporting the fixes to the hardware. Compare that to Apple’s own battery problems…

Uh, yeah, do exactly that because The Macalope believes that if you do you will find that Apple’s battery problems of note were not tied to any property damage or potential for air travel disaster. In other words, compare them because The Macalope believes you will find them incomparable.

Spence gives Samsung high marks for its speed in reacting, but Samsung had to react fast or someone might have gotten killed. No one was going to die because their iPhone was slightly slower.

The reliability of the Galaxy range in the mainstream media is streets ahead of the iPhone.

If you pretend that one huge disaster that could have killed some people was actually a strength, then Samsung comes out on top.

That’s some logic there. Not our Earth logic, but… some kind of logic. Possibly Zeptillian logic from Planet Z. That’s not a reference to some obscure sci-fi series, The Macalope just made that up, but it seems like the most likely answer.

While most users will take their smartphone out of the box and never think again about the specifications, those looking for the biggest and best are going to see the Galaxy S10 outpacing the iPhone XS.

In other words, if you only care about looking at specs and not about using your phone, next year’s Galaxy S10 is the phone for you, not this year’s iPhone XS. Makes sense. People who don’t care about actually using smartphones would clearly do better continually waiting for the next phone because it’s always going to be better. That math checks out.

It’s an utterly useless calculation, but the math is spot on.

Finally…

Oh, thank God.

…Samsung has managed to maintain its lead in the camera stakes over man-years [sic] over Apple.

Spence doesn’t know the specifics about the cameras in these two phones, he just thinks Samsung’s the one to beat here.

Both handsets will make their supporters swoon, but the Galaxy S10 has the advantage in gathering the undecided middle ground.

Neither of these phones has even been announced yet.

You know what? This is 2018. Predicting the Galaxy S10 will beat the 2018 iPhone isn’t cool. Predicting the Galaxy S14 will beat the 2022 iPhone, though, that’s cool. Challenge issued, Forbes contributor network.

  
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