With fan boys like these: Not charged about AirPods


New AirPods are hitting the streets this week (particularly if they fall out of your ears) causing no small amount of excitement from this furry observer, but not everyone is as impressed.

Writing for the Forbes contributor network and rubber snake charming school, self-proclaimed “Apple fan boy” John Koetsier is back to… bash Apple.

“AirPods 2.0 Are A Massive Disappointment: Apple Innovation Slows To A Crawl.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Chris.)

What is going on with innovation at Apple?

What is the deal with airline food?!

the new AirPods are out, and there's almost nothing new about them

Koetsier goes on to list the deficiencies in the new AirPods, such as no noise cancellation, no color options and no waterproofing. All true! What else is true is that AirPods have been best sellers practically since they were announced. They’re on pace to be Apple’s second-best selling product ever. How much, exactly, do they need to make them better right now? To the Macalope, this seems like a reasonable update for the second version. Although the batteries on his version 1 AirPods are so exhausted they wish the new ones could have come out a little sooner.

If you’re looking for some of the features Koetsier complains are missing in AirPods, Apple is expected to be releasing Powerbeats 4 next month with a choice of colors, different ear fit and noise cancelation.

For this, we waited almost three years?

Rounding. How does it work?

As AirPods first came out two years and three months ago, it does not work like that, that’s for sure.

Meanwhile, the Google Pixel Buds offer real-time translation from other languages.

And how well do they work?

“Google's answer to Apple AirPods headphones is a failure on all accounts.”

That well, huh?

Party trick? Maybe.

Is it pointless? Maybe it is.

But it's cool, innovative, and an expression of Google's powerful innovation.

It is innovative innovation. That’s how much innovatability is being innovated with this innovativeness.

So, yeah, why didn’t Apple show us some real innovation and put something that doesn’t really work very well in the AirPods?! It’s a mystery.

Apple makes great quality products.

Hey, mystery solved! If only Koetsier had read down to the next paragraph he wrote then he might have realized why Apple doesn’t shove party tricks into its devices.

Koetsier is no newcomer to Apple doom, having proclaimed the sky was falling back in 2012 when Apple removed the YouTube app and made you go to all the trouble to download the YouTube app. For a guy who pretended to care about market share when he could use it as a cudgel against Apple, it does take a special kind of something to claim that one of Apple’s most beloved products of the last three years is trash compared to a Google competitor that’s surely sold only a tiny fraction of the AirPods volume.

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