Powering down: iPhone 12 battery rumors

Don't let rumors of the next iPhone's battery ruin your summer.


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It’s July and there are only a few months left for us to get in all the hatin’ on the iPhone 12 we can before it gets announced so let’s get to it.

Operators at the Forbes contributor network and Institute for the Advanced Study of Pudding Cups are standing by to tell you what a disappointment the iPhone 12 is going to be.

Gordon Kelly, as you might recall, spent all of last summer telling us how ugly the iPhone 11 camera bump was going to be and what a big problem that was for Apple. Turns out, big surprise, people actually like the look of the iPhone 11. Other companies sure do because they made their camera bumps look just like them.

But that was last year. This year you’re going to hate the inside of the new iPhone.

“Apple Reveals Serious Battery Problem For New iPhone 12 Models.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Alex.)

Everything is a serious problem for Kelly.

“Idris Elba’s Preference For Red Vines over Twizzlers Is A Serious Problem For The Incredibly Handsome And Talented Actor.”

To be fair, Kelly does the same thing to Samsung and everyone else. It’s not necessarily personal against Apple. It’s just designed to gin up clicks.

Does that make it better? The Macalope’s not sure.

The story here is that MySmartPrice spotted “possible iPhone 12 series” battery specifications and they are about 10 percent lower than those of the iPhone 11 series, despite having 5G modems which may consume more power. We know nothing other than this, that these might be the specs for the iPhone 12 batteries. From that we simply apply the glitter, the leftover vest material from mom’s disco Ken doll, a splash of Axe body spray and voilà, “Serious battery problem.”

If you think that’s bad, just wait. Because eagle-eyed reader William emailed the Macalope a link from another site that the Macalope won’t even include because what this site did is lift most of Kelly’s piece — including a typo — rewriting it slightly and then regurgitate it on its own pages as “news”, only providing a link to the “source” at the end.

It’s like those memes going around where things you don’t expect to be cake turn out to be cake except instead it’s something you expect to be crap and it turns out even crappier than you could have possibly imagined.

As much as the Macalope does not agree with Kelly’s “style”, he does not deserve to have his work ripped off like this.

There does seem to be an ongoing battle between iPhone users who generally seem to want more battery life and Apple which wants to make devices so thin that they cut your fingers off but you’re so delighted by the impossible thinness that you just smile as they fall to the floor. However, while these seem likely to be the battery specifications for the iPhone 12 line, we don’t know for sure that they are and we know nothing about what other changes Apple may have made in hardware or software the might affect power consumption.

Kelly himself almost admits that’s possible.

…so unless Apple has created some truly magical software optimizations…


Is this a concern? Maybe. Is it a dire flaw in the iPhone 12, a phone we haven’t even seen yet, that you should be worried about right now? Sweet monster truck rallies, no.

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