One good apple: It does not improve the whole bunch

Some good Apple punditry doesn't mean it's all good.


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Long time readers of this furry pontificator might have noticed something strange in last week’s column. Last week the Macalope approvingly linked to a piece on the Forbes contributor network. Needless to say, this caused a certain amount of consternation.

So, let us return to the subject of the Forbes contributor network and bag of live eels dinner delivery service (motto: “If your eels aren’t delivered live, we’ve pivoted to being a bag of dead eels dinner delivery service”).

While there is often some good content on it, there is often content that is… not.

Let’s take a look at a couple of pieces from Forbes contributor Stephen McBride. In January of 2019, McBride predicted “The End of Apple” because the price of the iPhone is too darn high! Then in August of the same year, he opined that “Dark Days Are Closing in on Apple.”

That one is technically accurate as dark days were closing in on us all, but still a bit wide of the mark by most reasonable standards.

According to McBride, falling iPhone unit sales mean we’re entering a post-iPhone era and…

The post-iPhone era won’t be kind to Apple’s stock

You folks ever watch Holey Moley? It’s a very dumb show and the Macalope means that in the best possible way. One of the great things about the show is how they interview people before their turn and they’ll say “I AM GOING TO DESTROY THE COMPETITION!” And then two minutes later a lifeguard is fishing them out of the water because they got walloped by a padded windmill blade.

The Macalope’s not sure why he was reminded of that just now. Maybe something about wild predictions. I dunno.

McBride does walk it back in the very next line.

To be clear, I’m not predicting Apple will go bust.

That was January when I was pushing a conference when I predicted Apple would go bust. This is August when all I’m pushing is my research firm. Totally different situation. The Macalope isn’t sure why making outlandish claims about Apple is a way some analysts try to promote their analysis, but it’s definitely something that happens.

So, these were McBride’s hot takes in 2019. Then, in 2020, Apple recorded record numbers and overtook Saudi Aramco as the world’s most valuable company.

During a pandemic.

This brings us to the problem with the Forbes contributor network and social and emotionally distant lifestyle blog. There’s not enough vetting and there’s not enough editorial control. You might get something good, but you also might get a clown car. But more like a town-sized car full of clowns than a tiny car. So a clown town car. Servicing the airport at Clown Town.

It’s not important to the Macalope’s overall point but the name of the airport in Clown Town is Bozo International.

While Forbes contributors aren’t paid directly based on traffic, they do get extra pay if they hit certain traffic thresholds. They also seem open to letting people onboard who have other misaligned motivations, such as making sensational claims in order to get attention to promote their personal businesses.

Readers of this site can rest assured there are no such shenanigans going on here.

[The Macalope is an antlered mythical creature who also makes his own line of fancy glass poodle art, available wherever fine fancy glass poodle art is sold.]

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