Last September when the Macalope challenged Paul Thurrott’s assertion that Epic won big in its case against Apple, he made a mistake and for that, he apologizes. It wasn’t in noting that it was Apple that had won big and Epic lost. He was completely right about that and Thurrott was completely wrong. No, the Macalope was wrong in suggesting that Apple would not appeal the ruling. As it turned out, Apple did appeal the ruling!
It just appealed the one small thing it lost on.
Nothing but ultimate victory for Cupertino! Please arrange the spikes with the heads of our enemies on them neatly outside Apple Park. Thank you. Good day.
One other thing the horny one was completely right about in that piece was the final sentence:
While the company is probably right to celebrate this ruling, it continues to ignore the frustration with App Store policies at its peril.
“Apple’s conduct has harmed and is harming mobile app-developers and millions of citizens,” the states said.
”Meanwhile, Apple continues to monopolize app distribution and in-app payment solutions for iPhones, stifle competition, and amass supracompetitive profits within the almost trillion-dollar-a-year smartphone industry.”
Spellcheck says “supracompetitive” is not a word and the Macalope was going to make a joke about Toyota not making the Supra anymore but it actually started making it again in 2019.
See, that’s the kind of rigorous fact-checking you’re going to get in this column from a cartoon antelope/human/Mac hybrid in a suit. You’re welcome.
The Macalope finds it hard to disagree with the states here and it doesn’t look like this situation is going to go away easily for Apple.
The DoJ said the court had interpreted the Sherman Act, an 1890 law prohibiting anti-competitive behavior, “narrowly and wrongly, in ways that would leave many anti-competitive agreements and practices outside their protections.”
It’s a shame that the poster child for opening up the App Store is not a child at all but a carnival barker that wants to sell virtual skins to children. Selling actual skins was once an honorable tradition back when skins were used to keep warm and protect people from the elements (not that this furry creature is a huge fan of such things unless said skins are willingly gifted at the time of natural death). Now it’s a way to shake down the kiddies for their allowance money.
Of course, it is true that Apple helped popularize that particular self-enrichment technique. But you don’t want to replace a despot with a would-be despot. Epic only wants to open the App Store so it can squeeze developers through its funnel instead of having them go through Apple’s.
So, while the Macalope is not an enthusiastic supporter of overturning this verdict, he definitely believes that changes need to be made. You may excuse him for being slightly cynical about the chances of legislation rectifying the situation, but it’s possible and at this point, it doesn’t seem like Apple is interested in making more big changes on its own. Maybe only losing some of these cases will make it change its ways.