“We’re pivoting from dystopian personal tracking devices to dystopian face-huggers.” Nice. Very on-brand.
…Meta was working on a new smartwatch with built-in camera to compete with the Apple Watch. Now, the Facebook-parent company has halted development of this wearable as it focuses on the metaverse.
Well, that’s just great! Now how is the Macalope going to be tracked constantly and have his every movement and all his biometric data sold to advertisers? Is he going to have to accumulate that information and sell it himself? That sounds like a lot of work! If we can’t count on Meta to track all our movements and most personal information and sell it to advertisers, then who can we count on?!
Alas, you will be stuck with this stupid privacy-forward Apple Watch. So don’t expect ads for furniture to show up in your Instagram feed the next time you walk through an Ikea.
Trying to compete with the Apple Watch right now seems like trying to run uphill through a waist-high pudding slide. It’s possible, but you’ve got to be pretty committed.
So what about making a new smartphone instead?! Ah, that’s the ticket.
Yes, while the Fire Phone and the Essential Phone were both consigned to the rubbish heap of would-be iPhone killers, dope continues to spring eternal. Welcome — and the Macalope is legally required here to note that he is not making up this name — the Nothing phone.
After the moderate success of its Ear 1 earphones, Nothing is taking to the smartphone space, going so far as to reveal its offering a month early. Yes, soon everything will change. And what will change it? Nothing.
But Nothing isn’t ready to talk specs or price.
Take your time.
What does it look like? It looks a bit like an iPhone 11 with a clear back. And based on this video from Marques Brownlee it has LED light strips that convey charging and ringtones, and help with nighttime shots. Nice, but if vendors are going to be able to ship always-on screens for the iPhone soon, it doesn’t seem like lights are going to have a long shelf life.
The UI, a skinned version of Android that looks something like a European rail station status board, is certainly a different look that will likely appeal to some consumers looking for a change, but it’s not likely a thing many will switch platforms for. And now it looks like it isn’t even launching in the U.S. So, while Nothing’s Carl Pei might toss out features of the iPhone his company is looking to compete against, it’s a bit like the Macalope saying he likes the films of Taika Waititi so he expects he will one day be friends with him.
(But, seriously, Taika, if you’re reading this, call me.)
IDC’s Francisco Jeronimo is a little leery of the transformative powers of the Nothing Phone.
I’m seeing some [sic] much hype about the @nothing phone that I start to suspect there’s nothing special about this phone apart from its cover and lots of online marketing. Hope you will prove me wrong @getpeid
When so little is known about the device other than it wants you to compare itself to the iPhone, the Macalope tends to agree.